SexDrive

Welcome to SexDrive! Whatever your sexual preference or gender is please remember everyone in the free world has a right to be what they want to be without fear or recrimination. Be kind to everyone especially if they hold a different viewpoint. What makes this world so interesting is diversity.

SexDrive is all about relationships and at the same time looking at gender and how this has changed in the last 20 years. We also look at mental health and sexual health and how they have a significant impact on each other.

SexDrive

Welcome to SexDrive! Whatever your sexual preference or gender is please remember everyone in the free world has a right to be what they want to be without fear or recrimination.

SexDrive 1

The act of sex

Humans have a natural instinct to have sex and there are many reasons for this. The body craves for the chemicals and emotions that sex and intimacy bring. The feeling before, during and after everyone needs and wants but increasingly it is coming under pressure from lifestyle. Sex is also very good for our health

SexDrive 1

The act of sex

Humans have a natural instinct to have sex. Sex is also very good for our health

A good sex life is good for your heart. Besides being a great way to raise your heart rate, sex helps keep your oestrogen and testosterone levels in balance. “When either one of those is low you begin to get lots of problems, like osteoporosis and even heart disease,” MayoClinic says. Having sex more often may help.

A good sex life is good for your heart. Besides being a great way to raise your heart rate, sex helps keep your oestrogen and testosterone levels in balance. 

SexDrive 3

Is your lifestyle affecting your love life?

If you are suffering with lifestyle issues and it is impacting on your love life then SexDrive is a good read for you. We use the term love life because it’s not just about the physical elements of sex but also the emotional elements of loving. When stress, anxiety or depression starts it can affect how we behave lovingly to others in our family and partners regardless of gender.

SexDrive 3

Is your lifestyle affecting your love life?

If you are suffering with lifestyle issues and it is impacting on your love life then SexDrive is a good read for you.

Some of the statistics will surprise you and you may want to learn something new about how to improve your sex life.

Some of the statistics will surprise you and some of the issues people are suffering you may well be suffering from. You may consider you don’t have a problem in which case you may want to learn something new about how to improve your sex life.

SexDrive looks at some of the myths and statistics that may surprise and also looks at the gender explosion.

Here are some facts and stats  about sex. GO!

One aspect of sex is that it can lead to a lasting relationship. This section explores what good relationships look like.  GO!

However well a relationship starts, it’s possible that at some point it will go wrong. See how and why. GO!

There is a difference between the act of sex and making love – one is purely physical while the other has more emotional attachment. Explore this further. GO!

Sometimes a bit of fantasy can spice up sex (50 Shades of Grey!), but it’s easy for this to go too far.  See some interesting facts and alarming detail about pornography and other sexual adventure.  GO!

More people are now looking to find their partner through dating sites than via face to face meetings – does this work, and what should you be careful of?  GO!

Sex and sexuality can cause some real problems, for mental and physical health, such as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and just growing older problems – see more on this  GO!

As the newness of your relationship wears off and the excitement starts to fade, the relationship can feel like it’s growing stale. You aren’t forced to remain in a dull and boring relationship, however. There are some steps you can take to keep a mature relationship fresh and exciting.   GO!

If you’re a visitor to our site you can join and download information, assess your own health and create your own action plans, and even contribute to our site.  GO!

We have a video and some ideas on next steps you can take. GO!

We have some additional information on this subject. GO!

Facts About Sex

18 %
Tinder users

between 18 and25% are in a committed relationship while using the dating app.

28 %

It turns out that in general men cheat on their partner a little more often than women. Research shows that about 33% of the men have cheated, and 28% of the women have.

1
minutes

is the average total length of sex (foreplay + intercourse)

1 %
Brits

About a quarter of Brits have had sex in the last week (YouGov poll)

men

aged 16-19 first had sexual intercourse before the age of 16

women

aged 16-19 first had sexual intercourse before the age of 16

of men

reported having masturbated in the previous four weeks. Rates decline with age, particularly for men, and are higher in those with no current partner. [Natsal]

of women

reported having masturbated in the previous four weeks. Rates decline with age, particularly for men, and are higher in those with no current partner. [Natsal]

good relationship

Good Relationships

Firstly, sex and good relationships don’t always go hand in hand. Some people have great relationships but are not overly sexual. Each person has a different sex drive to the next and when we first embark on a relationship this can be misleading. The first 12 months to 2 years might be classified as the honeymoon period and then after that it settles down. This is often when problems start to occur because the normal sex drive patterns then start to work. Work life, lifestyle and health are also added into the mix to sometimes cloud the issue.

Various aspects of this are covered in the tabs below

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When Relationships Go Wrong

It's difficult to admit that a relationship that started out wonderfully has turned into something bad. When we enter a relationship, we’re often desperately in love and wearing rose-colored glasses, only seeing our partner’s good points and ignoring their faults. That’s why often our family and friends are better at predicting how things will go than we are.

If you're :
- feeling you don't have enough personal freedom
- noting that most of your interactions are negative ( John Gottman, the renowned couples researcher, is famously able to predict divorce with 90 percent accuracy by watching partners communicate with each other - couples should have at least 80 percent positive interactions)
- You wish you were home alone rather than with your partner
Then it might be time to end the relationship.
It's worth looking at each of these aspects in a bit more detail.

plants simulating sex

Is There a Difference Between Sex and Love-Making?

When it comes to having sex, the intimacy has to do with merging your physical needs and body parts with the other partner whereas love making is more about connecting your minds and souls through the act of sexual intercourse.

Isadora Alman from Psychology Today said, one may decide to engage in this act for different purposes, for example, lust, intimacy, boredom, relief, to exert power, to fulfill expectations, baby making, to express love, take comfort, etc. She further goes on to explain that at its best, this act is considered to be one of sharing and intimacy because there is not a more intimate act than letting another one inside a private body part with the goal to share pleasure.

When two individuals make love, their vulnerability levels are pretty high. This is often a result of sharing emotions and words that they may not have done before. Both persons tend to let their guard down and risk and reward comes into play. During love making, one experiences unique closeness with their partner and finds it difficult to imagine other moments happening without them.

On the other hand, when you are having sex with someone, although the vulnerability still plays a role, it is of a different kind. Namely, one may be afraid of the sexual intercourse not being good or losing the needed chemistry. Also, one may question if his/her sexual needs will be received well or not.

When love is not in the picture but merely getting sexual pleasure, saying goodbye is never a problem and one may be able to move on without necessarily looking for commitment from the other person. However, this is not always the case when you are making love with a person with whom you have found a connection.

fantasy and reality

Fantasy and Reality

Difference between sexual fantasy and reality

Well for many fantasies are just that and are kept to the individual or partner. Those can sometimes be extreme in nature but that’s where it stops and it never gets to reality. Some partners want to go further and put the fantasy into reality.

Well in this case it requires thinking through especially if it involves third parties or doing things whereby you can get caught. There is nothing wrong with turning a legal fantasy into reality provided everyone is truly consenting and not coerced into it.

Pornography is now almost universally available - on phones, computers and tablets. It's no longer a case of 'top shelf' magazines! Can watching porn spice up a sexual relationship, or is it a sad addiction? Who watches porn anyway? How real is it? Is there a balance between a bit of spice and a compulsion?

Multi-partner, Group, threesomes, orgies, are not for everyone and need to be planned otherwise things could backfire. There are people who enjoy these types of sexual gratification but if a partner is reluctant then they should never be coerced or forced. Sex and sex acts do magical things to our bodies naturally but the brain has to remain in control and make sure the act doesn’t turn into an addiction.

Why not take the sex addiction test in the tabs below and see how you get on?

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Do Dating Sites Work?

Browsing profiles isn’t nearly as time-consuming (or daunting) as mixing with people in a social context. Statistics suggest that about 1 in 5 relationships begin online nowadays. It’s estimated that by 2040, 70% of us will have met our significant other online. However, how do people find these sites?

Most men aren’t bothered whether the women are damaged by previous relationships they just want sex.

Most women are fed up of dick pics and men stood in their shorts holding a fish

People lie on their online dating profiles - 44% did admit to lying in their online profile. In both the US and UK samples, dishonesty declined with age.: Some of the sites shroud the person so you cannot view them. How does that work? Also, many accounts are very old.The site owners rarely want to tell you where there is a lack of candidates and use old or frozen profiles of attractive people to contact you.

LGTBQ

Gender Explosion

From the 1960s gender differences have begun to emerge but who is driving this change? This is not clear but in the last 2 to 3 years large media corporations seem to be championing the cause. The Royal College of General Practitioners recognises six genders in a recent position statement. These are male, female, gender-neutral, non-binary, gender-fluid and gender-queer. But the BBC are stating in many of their programme that there are 100 to 132.

Although the terms sex and gender are often used interchangeably, they, in fact, have distinct meanings. Sex is a classification based on biological differences—for example, differences between males and females rooted in their anatomy or physiology. By contrast, gender is a classification based on the social construction (and maintenance) of cultural distinctions between males and females. Gender refers to “a social construct regarding culture-bound conventions, roles, and behaviours for, as well as relations between and among, women and men, boys and girls” Krieger.

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Sexual Issues and Mental Health

Sexual Issues

In 2018, over 2.63 million individuals went to a sexual health clinic in England..

A third (32%) of UK adults said they had experienced a sexual problem such as loss of desire or problems keeping or maintaining an erection. Women were more likely to say they had experienced a sexual problem than men (37% compared to 26%). RELATE:

1 in 5 (19%) say low libido or differing sex drives is placing a strain on their relationship.

Half (47%) of relationship counsellors and sex therapists have seen a rise in relationship problems linked to pornography in the last year.

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Keeping Your Relationship Strong

How can you keep your relationship strong?

Relationships are all about human connection done through love and understanding. But without proper relationship rules, it can turn out to be rather difficult to keep that connection strong…

We believe the first rule to keep a relationship strong is to treat your loved one with respect. You have to respect their time, heart, character and, of course, their trust; you should also expect to receive the same amount of respect back..

Another key rule is communication - this is the key to happiness and a peaceful life. The problem is that not everyone knows how to express how they feel - at least many people don't find it easy. It's important to express the positive stuff - talk about love, express admiration and offer compliments. It's also important to talk about the negative stuff - avoiding discussing arguments won't make the problems go away. See CommunicationDrive for some ideas.

NEVER compare your life to others. It's too easy with social media to get hooked on watching others' perfect lives - you aren't seeing anything underneath the veneer! Focus on keeping your relationship strong and don't worry about anyone else.

Make an effort! If you want your relationship to stay strong it's worth working at.

Do things that make you bond together. Spend time interacting, not just watching TV together. This includes making love! Having great (or even nice) sex is a great habit to get into!

For visitors

Why don't you join us?

You can register to join us as a member, when you’ll be able to download our stuff and comment, or as a YouDriver when you’ll also be able to check your health and set up your own action plans to make some improvements.  If you’ve already registered, sign in below. Or let us know what you think.

Sex and Sexuality

Sex and Sexuality

Crash Course talk about sex and sexuality in a Sociology framework

“Sex is an emotion in motion.”
SexDrive 12
Mae West
American stage and film actress, playwright, screenwriter, singer, and sex symbol

Next Steps

It doesn’t matter what stage  you’re at – it’s important to be the best you can be.  At the end of the day it’s about taking personal responsibility – You Drive!

It’s really your choice. You can find out more information about the subject, or see other institutions that can help by going to Support. There you will find organisations, training, coaching, self-help courses and other items to support your personal change. We have also started developing a panel of experts to provide info, advice, help and support. 

More Information

Scroll down to see more information on this Drive.  If you register with us by providing an email address you can also download reports, white papers, quizzes and other collaterals.  Don’t worry, we will never ask you for any financial information, and we’ll only send you the information you want.

You can register for our site either above or in the footer below, and there’s more information available and you can comment and participate in discussions too.  We want to encourage our members to provide their own questions and experiences in order to help other members.  We only moderate for spam and inflammatory language – see our moderation policy here.

Soon you will be able to register as a YouDriver – you’ll get your own health dashboard, be able to assess your own health, look at how to improve it and build your own action plans.

We also show you links to other sites offering support in this area and also some products and services which might help you on our Support pages, which you can go to by clicking the Support button below.

Get Support

There are times when you need some help to meet your aims. At YouDriveHealth we try to help you to take control of your own health. Sometimes however you need a helping hand.

As the next step we are compiling a list of experts who can help you, whether by providing advice, help or specialised services.  In the future you will be able to access these experts from anywhere on our site you see our ‘Experts’ symbol.

We will be adding to our list of experts continually; we try to recommend things and partners that we have used ourselves, but obviously we can’t take any responsibility for any specific outcomes.  

If you click the button you’ll see what our Experts list will look like, with a couple of imaginary ‘experts’ added!

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See what other things can help

More information

Healthline have tips on couples having better sex

The Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity

YoungMinds have a good article on gender and mental health

The Mayo Clinic have information on premature ejaculation 

NHS info on premature ejaculation

NHS info on women’s orgasm issues

MBC Psychiatry have an article on gender differences

Entrepreneur offer 14 ways to improve your skills

Healthline have info on sex addiction

Verywellminds have an article on the symptoms of sex addiction

If you’re concerned you may have a sexually transmitted disease, see symptoms (Mayo Clinic)

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