Adulthood and working

Welcome to the next stage of your Life Journey - adulthood and work. This is such a critical time, especially for younger adults. All those years in education (or not) about to pay off as we venture into the workplace. Putting to test all those life skills our parents drilled into us (or not) and standing on our own two feet as an adult. This can be the most stressful time (or depressing) and differs for everyone. But your past DNA and social environment and upbringing will determine how easy or difficult you make the transition.

This part of life’s journey covers nearly 40 years. We provide help and guidance, tips and best practice. Success secrets when mapping out your working life. Starting work life very much depends on what your education track was like. Check out our JobDrive. This drive leads up to working life and discusses the critical steps to take when you look at your career.

Here are some intital thoughts about adulthood and working. GO!

Here are some facts and stats  about adulthood. GO!

We suggest life is like a boxing ring – you have several bouts – some you win, others you lose! GO!

Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me. True or false?  GO!

Make the leap from education and childhood to work GO!

Choose the right path – take a look around you.  GO!

Understand your natural characteristics and skills  GO!

Between 20 and 40 it’s time to make your mark – but things can go wrong!  GO!

Don’t try and take on too much – learn to spin plates!  GO!

Some people seem to make life appear easy.  See how.  GO!

Do people come along and dump their sh*t in your bucket?  GO!

Will or are you making hay while the sun shines? GO!

Take time to think how wonderful and beautiful life is.  There’s a lot to be happy about! GO!

This is about getting into a relationship and knowing your partner GO!

Can you do something memorable that could be written on your headstone? GO!

You may want to join us GO!

We have a testimonial  GO!

What next?  GO!

Some stuff you might like?  GO!

Some Initial Thoughts

Muhammed Ali

Welcome to adulthood!

When we reach adulthood, we have to take on responsibilities – one of these is often having to earn money to support your family. This can include working – sometimes this is fulfilling, often it isn’t – it’s something we have to do to provide..

Not many people are lucky enough to work somewhere they enjoy – but a lot of it is about attitude.

“Don’t count the days – make the days count.” – Muhammad Ali

Facts about adulthood and working

10 thousand
divorces

Divorces in the UK each year in comparison to 270,000 marriages

£ 1 a week
saved

on average during the pandemic by cutting out things like commuting and buying lunch out.

Source: https://www.finder.com/uk/working-from-home-statistics

1 %
people

in employment had done some work at home in April 2020 on average, as opposed to 26.7% of the workforce prior to the pandemic (ONS)

1 million
people

fell behind by one payment in 2020 – Citizens Advice

Iceland workers
86%

86% of Iceland population work a 4 day week

Cut budgets
56%

of parents had to cut budgets in order to ensure children did not go without.

Using savings
30%

of people had to use their savings to survive during the pandemic

Home working
65%

65% of workers said they would be more productive in a home office than a normal office.

Life is like a boxing ring

Life in general can be quite tough and as an analogy you could describe life as a boxing ring. You cannot escape life. You know that you are likely to get a few punches along the way and some may be harder and more longer lasting than you think.

Life is a fighting a variety of boxers - some are monsters and punch hard whilst others are softer and you win those bouts.

The first punch you may get that will knock you on your back will be that day when you get a call unexpectedly and are told someone close to you has died. It’s a life punch that will send you reeling. No life preparation can help you - it’s just life.

You can have accidents, serious illnesses, work/friend/neighbour disputes that can affect your mental health. Relationship break-ups, work disasters etc all pile on mental health pressure and can leave people anxious and depressed by life’s battles.

In any boxing match there are also times when you can win.

Obviously, parents and the establishment want to protect children until they are old enough and able enough to cope with life’s punches, battles and disappointments. Since WW2 progressively children have been protected even more from the harsh reality of life.

lifestyle family

Making the leap from full time education to work life

It's hard

There’s just so much change in the world today, so the job of preparing young people for the future has become increasingly difficult. The Institute of the Future issued a report in 2017 that said that 85 percent of the jobs in 2030—when today’s school kids will leave school—have not been invented yet. We’re also facing an unfolding crisis in the environment; rampant (or perceived) racial, ethnic, and gender inequities; the impending emergence of bioengineering and artificial intelligence; and escalating craziness on the geopolitical stage.

Scientific evidence reveals that slower, strategic transitions to adulthood can be beneficial and that family and other types of support are crucial in determining how young people fare. Let’s look at some ideas.

career path signpost

Choosing the right path – take a look around you

They say 25 to 45 is the period when you need to make it in whatever you’re doing. Formal education has finished and now it’s time to make your money and build your career. During this period, you need to make as much money as you can. Money isn’t everything but it does give you more options especially if you decide to change careers or buy a business later in life then a support pot of money can help.

From a career perspective you would hope to have made some good inroads up the career ladder by this time and got into a position whereby from there you can springboard into senior management or qualify as an expert in your field. In today’s world the working career can be from 20 to 70 – a whole 50 years. During this time, we will be focused on life and earning. Maybe starting a family or buying a house. We tend to be totally engrossed in making it in life. Often what happens is we forget the basics; who we are and what made us happy. There’s the old saying; all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. This is so true. If you speak to anyone who has already made the journey, they will tell you; ‘trust me 20 years flies by and you don’t realise’.

We have said life is a journey not a destination, you can’t go back and rerun it.

Therefore making it hard working but enjoyable is the key to a successful life. There are many people today who are successful and surround themselves with material things that they think makes them happy, but it doesn’t. You often see famous footballers or actresses owning 25 cars and think what do they want with all those cars. Well, it’s often like a short-lived drug shot and makes them happy. When it’s worn off, they are looking for the next thing to buy to stimulate happiness.
Internal happiness that is free and costs nothing is better. The ability to watch the sun rise or set or listen to the birds in the trees is a beautiful thing, and it costs nothing. But having said this if materialism does make you happy and it helps you feel fulfilled in life then there’s nothing wrong with it.

personality who you are

Understanding myself, my characteristic and natural skills – know yourself

Knowing who you are, what you like or don’t will help you determine the right career path. If you are in doubt also look at your parents’ characters and disposition and think will I be like that at 40? There are clues to help you but you need to look.

Success suggest that to know yourself you should:
Be quiet. You cannot and will not be able to discover yourself until you take the time to be still. ...
Realize who you truly are, not who you want to be. ...
Find what you are good at (and not good at). ...
Find what you are passionate about. ...
Ask for feedback. ...
Assess your relationships...

man with stress

Between 20 and 40 its time to make your mark

Between 20 and 40 its time to make your mark but things don’t always go smoothly.

Things often don’t go to plan during your early years and you need to be adaptable and always ready for change. Most adults appear to stop formal learning at 22 and then get on with life. Learning to keep learning is imperative if you wish to become successful. Below are some helpful points about how to remain alert and aware of life changes.

don't overstretch yourself

Don’t overstretch yourself

Don’t overstretch yourself financially/physically or emotionally because if change comes and you cannot manoeuvre around the obstacles set in your way you could have big problems. People have a habit of earning good money and then start; splashing the cash, taking out credit and credit cards and then one day boom you lose your job or you have a serious accident that stops you earning or earning as much but the credit still needs to be repaid. Build your cash reserves and split your eyeline into today and tomorrow. Focusing too much on the future will lead to a loss of focus on today. It’s a fine balance.

We build our lives step by step brick by brick progressively over time. But if we get carried away with our success we want more and spend more. 120,000 people went personally bankrupt in 2019 and 150,000 in 2020 and its steadily increasing. Credit in the UK is so easy to obtain because the lenders put the responsibility of lending on the creditor. So try to avoid exposing yourself and losing everything you have built.

Learn to spin plates

Life often feels like plate spinning when you have so many things to do. If fact some people often take on more plates and run up and down the line trying to keep all the plates spinning. Eventually something will give; either we collapse and all the plates crash to the ground or a few plates crash but we manage to keep others spinning. This is all about not over stretching yourself in any matter or situation. The next section talks about focus, if we focus on spinning the main plates in our life [ each plate can be a factor, item, task, issue, relationship etc] we can cope well, but sometimes we need to add more, which is fine in the short term but over an extended period we can lose focus on our main plates or priorities and they can if not watched carefully start to crash and burn. 

Often people take on too many tasks or issues in life and when we lose focus things go wrong. Sometimes you have to let some plates go, to enable you to carry on with the other plates.

People who suffer with stress and anxiety have a vast number of plates spinning at the same time and wonder why they cannot cope. Taking control of your life and learning to spin the right number of plates and keep harmony in your life is a starter to controlling you stress and anxiety levels.

spin plates
glasses focus

It’s all about Focus

Look how we appreciate, admire sports people who are top of their game. We stand in awe of their skill and expertise. The old saying: they make it look so easy.

Often what comes with the level of expertise is a total dedication and focus to the expertise. Everyday training and focus. In the world of work, it’s the same. If we don’t give focus and dedication to our work expertise, we will find standards slip and we lose momentum. The problem for the majority of humans is distraction and span of attention. Most humans love habits but that does not mean focus. Our brain has the great ability to subconsciously do mundane tasks without us even thinking too much.

Another old saying is; you cannot take your eye off the ball otherwise you will miss it. Work and careers are the same. We go to work earn good money and then we surround ourselves with material distractions. In fact, not just sports but any discipline that people excel will tell you its all about focus and dedication. If we get distracted the things slip and we lose our edge.

A good example of this is a business person who has a failing business shouldn’t buy another business to compensate as all this leads to is a defocus from the main business. The main business needs more focus not less.

sod all box

The Sod All box

On your life journey you are busy getting on with life, working, building a life or family. Stresses and frustrations also become part of everyday life and we start to let them fill our heads. Here is a simple technique that helps you learn how to manage issues or problems in your life and surrounding areas of your life.s.

In life we will encounter many issues and problems and often devote brain time worrying about them. The reality is often that some the problems or issues we get anxious about we can do absolutely nothing about therefore why worry about something that you cannot do anything about. >

A great example for living your life is the sod all box.

There are some things in life you can control. This is about you. You can control what actions you take, what you say and, with awareness, what you think and how you react to events.
There are also some things you can influence. Casting your vote in an election, influence a group or party, or individual. You can also influence others and their behaviour through your own.
Finally, there’s the ‘sod all’ box, which contains all those things you can’t do anything about.
The sun coming up and sun going down. Time. The tide. Death.
There are things in life you cannot do anything about. So ask yourself when a frustrating situation occurs;
Can I control it: yes or no
Can I influence it or anyone else: yes or no
Therefore, it must be in the box I can do absolutely nothing about

choose battles wisely

You can’t win every battle- so choose which ones

We all have battles, conflicts, goals, arguments or objectives we want to win, either in work or personnel. One thing is clear and talk to all top persons and they will tell you. When you want to get your own way or win a battle or objective you need to decide which ones you want to win and ones you are happy to lose or compromise on. You cannot win all battles there are too many and its exhausting. Choosing the right battle said arguments to win and getting behind them.

Learning to read situations and deciding which situation you will invest your time in and win the day. This also means you don’t worry over those things that are not important to you.

shit bucket

Life sh*t bucket

Lets start by saying everyone has one and dependent on how you run your life and deal with life’s Sh*t depends on how full it gets.

Some people have wonderful tidy and clean Sh*t buckets. Some have their lives so well and truly together that they have a lid on it and it works really well.

But some people have so much self induced sh*t that they trade in their sh*t bucket at the shop for a sh*t bin. You must also know those people who have car crash lives and go one step further and trade up further for a sh*t skip.

make hay while the sun shines

Making hay whilst the sun shines

The saying make hay while the sun shines mean you have to make the most of the time period to get ahead when conditions are ideal. 25 to 50 is the time to make this happen. It’s also a time when we are building relationships and even starting a family so it can be extremely stressful.

Life begins at 40 or does it?

Does life really begin at 40? I guess it’s down to the individual. The saying comes from a time when parents married at 20 and had grown up children by the time, they were forty. Most certainly by the time you’re forty you should be established and life should be reasonably stable and progressing, hopefully with a better financial situation than when you were in your 20s. But today many children are staying at home into their 30s and parents are working into their 70s, so things have changed.

Ideally life should really begin (assuming the meaning is supposed to be you taking charge of your life and making it more positive and uplifting) as a child and hopefully your parents provided a balanced happy upbringing.

Even if not, when you become an adult, you’re in charge and life should begin then. You’re in charge of your life from there and making the best of it is down to you. If you choose to get your head down and not look up until you retire then that’s your choice.

Alternatively, you could say life is a journey and not a destination and I need to balance my life with work and pleasure. I need to ensure I live a healthy lifestyle and keep myself in check for the long journey and enjoy the journey. After all how many of us would go on a long journey and never look out of the window and at the last minute look up as we arrive. Just think what you would have missed.

In the 50s,60s,70s,80s the philosophy was to grow up, get a job, work hard, find a partner, buy a house, have a family, go on holiday once/twice a year, pay off your mortgage, get rid of your kids, retire and then die. Often education stopped at 22 including self-education and was replaced with work focus. Today this thinking is getting challenged and has definitely changed. People are finding ways of working differently the words work life balance enters the equation and people are now seeing the folly of that lifestyle. There wasn’t anything wrong with it but for many people all that happened was they grew up. They worked, they had annual holidays and then retired, often had ill health and then died. Many are saying today there has to be more to life than this.

beautiful scenes

Life is so wonderful and magical

Whilst we have to work to live, eat, provide shelter and have a family it has to be a balance. You hear stories of people never leaving the town they grew up in, work until retirement, have 5 years of gardening then get ill health and die at 75. This is not unusual it is UK life in general. So how is it changing. Well children are staying at home until much later. Parents are having children in their 40s and work life balance is embedded in work culture now. In the UK we have a strong work ethic and when you include work travel it means we are out of the home 10 hours a day. Some comparable countries such as France, The Netherlands, Denmark don’t share the same work ethic. The French have more public holidays than any other country. The Netherlands averages a 33-hour working week and Denmark try to operate a 4-day week. But these economies work just as efficiently as the UK. Iceland now offers a 4-day working week for anyone who wants it.

our world

Lessons learned

During the pandemic we saw lockdowns and working from home developed. Strangely during this time, we found that climate change indicators returned to below average due to the lack of travel. So, if we worked more from home than at an office in a city, we can reduce our carbon footprint and save office space which could be converted in living accommodation. 85% of homeworkers indicated they would prefer a work from home and infrequently visit the office policy and that work line balance increased by 68% according to the ONS.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy

well, that saying has been proved over and over again. So life is for living not just working. So, our suggestion is to think deeply and take time out to think through your life strategy. Consult with family and friends. Talk to older people who have lived a life, not necessarily the one you want to live but they will have experienced life’s twists and turns.

childbirth in history

Don't wait for life to happen

This video from Peter Sage at Ted Talks is about stopping waiting for life to happen. It is 17 minutes long, but it’s interesting to cover emotion, logic and connections. We found this video fascinating - when you consider the trials of history it's remarkable that we're not only alive at a wonderful time but feeling the stresses of that time.

It asks and answers the question: What's the ultimate app?

Time Flies

Ask anybody who is 75 about when the time flies the fastest and they generally will say it gets faster as you get older, so don’t get caught out and make the most of it. Many people are so busy working that time fly’s past and before you know it, you’re 65 and thinking of retirement. When you are in your 40s and 50s those people who have a hobby or talent could enjoy it, or even turn it into a part time business. It is a brilliant way to make that transition from full time work to vocational lifestyle.
Over 90% of 35- to 55-year-olds wished they could change occupation. [Guardian]. Therefore, it makes sense if you have an interest you start to work to achieve your goals early on and when the time is right making your move. If you have worked for 30 years and you want to make the move don’t knee jerk. It could take 5 years to make the move but eventually you can do – with the right planning.
According to the Department for Business self-employed survey the three main reasons for self-employment are; flexibility, independence, and job satisfaction. The survey also said 20% of employees commenced self-employment whilst employed. The self-employed feel their lives are better overall and over half think they are better off financially
• 84% thought their life overall was better in self-employment compared with being an employee and over half believe they are better off financially than they would be as an employee.

good relationship

Getting into a relationship - knowing your partner

During the journey we will meet someone special. Someone who we get on with, share the same philosophy on life and perhaps have similar characteristics. Often in the early adult years our dating shopping [wish list] list is perhaps quite basic and limited, ask anyone in their 50s who is on the dating scene and they will tell you the list is a lot longer having had a lifetime of experience knowing what the like, want and don’t want from a partner.

Remember people change
What formed their views, opinions, attitudes and beliefs were engrained in their mind before you met and before they had a lot of life experiences. So, choosing someone who has a cup half empty attitude or a lack of ambition is not good to someone who is a cup half full and a go getter. Check out our relationshipDrive to learn about the veneer. Some people will tell you what they think you want to hear and will match your behaviour but deep down they are different.

Once you have children you are bonded at the hip for at least 20 years. If children come along during your relationship remember that adds another plate to spin and if you fall out with your partner you have no choice but get on for the sake of the children. Strangely some people think when their relationship is on the rocks a baby will bond them together, absolutely not, never no.
The other important factor when choosing a partner is to think DNA. If we start a family, what offspring are we likely to create. A quick review of each other’s family history will give you indicators; such as mental health, medical wellness, attitude history, characteristics, etc. I know many will say yes but love is more important and chemistry, true it is but you should not dismiss the other parts. There is not magic formula for choosing the right partner but you can put some effort to getting it even partially right.

10 Tips for Choosing the Right Partner
Find someone who you can connect with easily
Don’t make choices out of fear: So many times people either choose a partner or stay with someone in an unhappy relationship predominantly out of some kind of fear.
Be careful of jumping into a committed relationship right off the start mark
Give people a chance that you normally wouldn’t give a chance to
Have a flexible check list that is for guidance rather than absolute
Look for qualities that are the foundation of a good partnership
Don’t let lust be your guide
Don’t confuse an “emotional roller coaster” with being crazy about
Find someone you can be yourself around
Don’t keep waiting for something to change that obviously won’t
Have fun!

what will it say on your gravestone

What will it say on your gravestone?

What will they write on your headstone?

All of us can’t be Einstein or Copernicus but we can all make the best of our lives as we can. If you ever visit a cemetery, you see the endless headstones with the same messages. We all can make an impression on this earth so our time is not forgotten and we can mark this. Be it helping others, saving someone’s life, and Adventurer, and explorer, a hobbyist. Leaving a lasting impression on those we leave behind is so important.

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"Life is like a camera… Focus on what’s important Capture the good times, Develop from the negatives, And if things don’t work out, Take another shot.."
Ziad K. Abdelnour
Lebanese-born American investment banker, financier,[1] activist, and author

Next Steps

It doesn’t matter what stage  you’re at – it’s important to be the best you can be.  At the end of the day it’s about taking personal responsibility – You Drive!

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Stuff you might want regarding adulthood and working life

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Spinning Plates has around 800 tips, starting with ideas for working while pregnant, looking after emotional needs and relationships, arranging child care, deciding whether to return to work or not and tackling issues of confidence.


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Stories of success and inspirational advice from 22 extraordinary individuals

A Few Wise Words is the perfect guide for young people, young adults (and older adults too) on how to prepare for our personal journey towards success, purpose, and fulfilment in life.


Go to Amazon

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Tips, Thoughts and Ideas for Juggling Work, Parenting and Home

Spinning Plates has around 800 tips, starting with ideas for working while pregnant, looking after emotional needs and relationships, arranging child care, deciding whether to return to work or not and tackling issues of confidence.


Go to Amazon

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Lessons from Toyota Leader Isao Yoshino on a Lifetime of Continuous Learning

In the international bestselling book Learning to Lead, Leading to Learn, leadership coach Katie Anderson and Toyota leader Isao Yoshino bring you a remarkable book about what it means to learn, to lead, and to care


Go to Amazon

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So many of us would like to live our lives in a calmer and less stressful way, and be able to let go of our problems. This is the book that can show you how to stop letting the little things in life drive you crazy.


Go to Amazon

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The Essential Guide to Finding the Job That’s Right for You

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Go to Amazon

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A Butterfly Life: 4 Keys to More Happiness, Better Health and Letting Your True Self Shine

Times of change can be a challenge, no doubt! Whether it’s a relationship breakup, job loss, or being diagnosed with a serious health issue. Or you may WANT things to be different, but it feels a little scary or overwhelming. The butterfly reminds us change can be beautiful, even necessary, in order to realize our full potential and live our best life.