FamilyDrive - Your Nearest and Dearest

Your Family

Everyone defines their family differently; some people have very close, big extended families, where everyone works together, and others have close tight knit families.  Some people are virtually alone. 

Here we’re defining ‘family’ as the group of people we care most about.  Typically it’s parents and children, but as we said it varies. 

In a way children are the most important, as they have no choice but to be dependent on someone, normally their parents.  We want to look after them, make sure they’re healthy and happy, and provide for their future. 

FamilyDrive looks at different events that can happen to a family, and how you can be helped and supported during and after these events, and how in some cases you can plan for some of them..

In this fast paced life it’s not easy for anyone to manage, grow and maintain a healthy family, and FamilyDrive provides a helping hand. Financial family wellness is really important because it affects the whole family not just the individual. Once we are on the journey it is so important to stop for a moment and think about protecting each stage of growth or development in your family situation. Also to think about the consequences if you were not there to guide the way forward.

Family Facts

£ 1
million

married couples in the UK in 2015 (Office of National Statistics)

0.1
million

single parents with dependent children in the UK in 2017 (Statisto)

£ 0.1
trillion

is owed by individuals in the UK (Feb 18, Finder.com)

0.1
million

people already in serious financial difficulty (FCA study)

of lone parents with dependent children in 2017 were mothers (Statista)
of the 3.9 million people between 16 and 64 living alone in 2017 were men (Office for National Statistics)
of the 3.8 million people 65 or over living alone in 2017 were women (Office for National Statistics)
of men between 20 and 34 were living with their parents in 2017 (as opposed to 20% women) (Office of National Statistics)

Family Events

Family is at the heart of what we are concerned with. Whether it is:

  • looking at getting together
  • an addition to the family
  • protecting loved dependents throughout working life
  • enjoying holidays and budgeting properly for them
  • the position when handling a difficult situation such as a divorce or separation
  • being pro-active in looking at making sure your wishes are followed on death – by making a will

There is a wealth of information to help. There are lots of calculators and guides to help with everything from a baby timeline through to a Christmas Money Planner. Once you know what you want to achieve, we then have the solutions to help you whether it be monthly savings, reducing your expenditure, consolidating expensive old debts or putting your hard earned money to best use.

Different types of families

On sociologytwynham.com which is an A Level revision site C H Thompson listed below the variety of structures families are found in:types of families

  • Beanpole – in countries like Britain and the US, the number of children per generation has steadily gone down, while life span has increased. This has led to a shape of family tree that some researchers have likened to a beanpole — tall and thin, with few people in each generation.
  • Classic extended family – an extended family sharing the same household
  • Cohabitation – a couple living together who aren’t married
  • Extended family – a family containing relatives in addition to the nuclear family
  • Gay or lesbian family – same sex couple living together with children
  • Kin – relatives based on marriage or genes
  • Lone parent family – lone parent (either gender) with dependent children
  • Modified extended family – an extended family living apart but still in communication via phone, email, Skype etc.
  • Monogamy – a married couple of the opposite sex, who have sexual relations with each otherfamily data
  • Nuclear family – a family consisting of an adult male and female with one or more children (including adopted)
  • Polygamy – a marriage involving two or more wives or husbands
  • Reconstituted family (blended family) – a family formed out of another relationship, otherwise known as a step-family
  • Symmetrical family – authority and household tasks shared between male and female partners
households by type

Family Statistics UK 2017

families by type
families by family type

In terms of dependents

families with dependent children

Family Situations

Maternity and Babies

Starting a family or adopting is a major decision and should not be taken lightly – it’s a lifetime’s commitment. All too often people become pregnant through emotion and do not have the right support or finances to support a newborn child. On top of this it’s not easy raising children, particularly in the modern day. Getting support from grandparents is ideal but sometimes they are not available for a variety of reasons. YouDrive is all about getting support or self-education. There is so much information out there if you choose to look for it – see the NHS help section on Maternit

Knowing what you’re entitled to is also important and the HMRC site can help you calculate your entitlement 

Planning and making sure you have enough money to give your child a good start is critical. If you’re short of money this leads to increased stress and anxiety which means you behave in a different way towards your child so planning is critical.

One excellent site full of help and support on bringing up children is the Government Money Advice Service. There are calculators and guides, all in simple English 

Managing your finances is one thing but also understand what other benefits are available is equally important. This excellent government organisation; Working Families provides a significant amount of guidance and information about all areas of work, benefits, rights and things such as flexible working 

Not only are there support organisation but you should also look at other support groups such as Mumsnet – and netmums 

Children and Adolescents

Kids do grow very quickly and things change. Try to plan ahead and forecast what’s going to happen by looking and talking to others. See .dots for understanding childrens’ behaviour.  Once children are at school age, what then, and what’s your part in this?

Parentkind can help prepare your child for school.   There are a list of support organisations likeTurn2Us and the US Parents providing insights in bringing up young people. Discipline is key for children, and difficult to get right. Smart Parent Advice have a good article on how to discipline your child.

When children get past ten they are already turning into mini adults (sometimes!!). You will see a massive change from 10 to 15 and again you need even more support and education in dealing with young adults. We want to treat them as we were treated and learning from your parents is a good thing, but each generation is slightly different and there are different circumstances that require a different approach. Today it seems to be harder than ever to grow up, with social media pressures and a threat of violence. See the Wise Up report under More Info.

Moving schools can be difficult – see what Family Lives say.   The Nuffield Foundation support wellbeing through education, research and innovation and they provide access to the report on School Transition and Adjustment Research Study (STARS) – see More Info below.

Parents often look at their child in a loving emotional way rather than clinically – your child is made up of DNA from a number of sources with traits and characters. Look for your child’s characteristics – some might be musical or sports or mechanical – and try to foster them. 

Managing a Family Alone

As we said earlier raising a family is not easy when there are two people engaged in the process, but what happens when you are a single parent bringing up a child (Superman or Superwoman?). Working and raising a child alone is hard work in all ways: financially, physically and mentally.   Gingerbread are a charity supporting single parents, as are Single Parents  There are benefits for single parents – see the guide from Lionheart – and support organisations such as Care for the Family

Family Wellness

Overall Wellness

As parents, guardians, grandparents we are the leaders of our team in a way.  As our team gets bigger and we build multiple layers within the team with grandchildren or adoption or marriages etc. we need to learn to lead and manage in a different way. YoungMinds give help on how friends and family can help you stay mentally healthy.

When we were just two people it was easier but as we get older and the team gets bigger and older we have to learn to respect other people’s views as well.

If you imagine running your family like a work team you would approach it in a different way. In fact we can often take learned examples from family life and put them into work team life and vice versa. At work you check on your team and make sure they are engaged and you’re aware of their needs and desires. You also review your team’s direction and make sure everything is operating correctly. Why not try this with your family team. The Drives in YouDrive are ideal to check your family health, financially, physically and mentally.

Relationships

Another area of family life is dealing with each other. Life today is very hectic – two people come together and love each other and hope this will carry them through.  Often it does not and people separate after some traumatic times. A number of organisations provide help with relationships – see Relate here and Supportline.

There are thousands of books and articles and institutions out there who can offer advice and guidance.  Family Lives offer advice in a number of situations. 

Couples do split up and go separate ways and whilst this is a sad and highly charged situation, individuals have to put their own personal feelings to one side and consider others too. Children and pets can enjoy life split between parents and have a rich and fulfilling upbringing. Two birthdays, two Christmas days two sets of holidays. Making sure people are not bruised and damaged physically or mentally is the key to building a life as split partners. 

Bereavement

When we lose a member of our family, it causes enormous pain and makes us feel lost and alone. YouDrive hope that with support those remaining can build hope for the future and rebuild their lives, always remembering those who have passed but moving forward.

Whether the person leaving the family is an unborn child or an elderly relative, it always has a significant impact on those left behind.  

If it is an unborn baby, this will still have a huge impact – see NHS guidelines or advice from babycentre. If it’s a child the ChildBereavement UK can support you. 

Cruse Bereavement Care is a charity established in 1959 providing telephone email and website support to bereaved people. 

For visitors

Why don't you join us?

You can register to join us as a member, when you’ll be able to download our stuff and comment, or as a YouDriver when you’ll also be able to check your health and set up your own action plans to make some improvements.  If you’ve already registered, sign in below. Or let us know what you think.

How to deal with conflict in marriage

How to build relationships

This video from Care For The Family is part of a four part series of Marriage Sessions which deals with building relationships. 

Money's tight -
so we need everything possible for essentials, but it's really important that I protect my family

The box below shows some information on how ‘essentials’ can be affected by unexpected events .  Hover over it and it will switch to show you information on how you can protect your family, and what’s involved.  Click the button on the back to see more information and YouDrive’s view!

Focus on the essentials

There is just enough money to meet day to day expenses, and to feed the family and pay essential bills - the ones that deal with living costs and utilities, council tax etc. So we need to focus on those bills and we can't afford any unnecessary insurances or savings plans.

Protect your family

There are always ways of making savings and money spent protecting those closest to you is more important than many things you might regard as essential. You have to consider all eventualities.
Click here for more information and YouDrive comment
"Families are like fudge - mostly sweet, with a few nuts"
les dawson
Les Dawson
English comedian, actor, writer, presenter

Next Steps

It doesn’t matter what stage  you’re at – it’s important to be the best you can be.  At the end of the day it’s about taking personal responsibility – You Drive!

It’s really your choice. You can find out more information about the subject, or see other institutions that can help by going to Support. There you will find organisations, training, coaching, self-help courses and other items to support your personal change. We have also started developing a panel of experts to provide info, advice, help and support. 

More Information

Scroll down to see more information on this Drive.  If you register with us by providing an email address you can also download reports, white papers, quizzes and other collaterals.  Don’t worry, we will never ask you for any financial information, and we’ll only send you the information you want.

You can register for our site either above or in the footer below, and there’s more information available and you can comment and participate in discussions too.  We want to encourage our members to provide their own questions and experiences in order to help other members.  We only moderate for spam and inflammatory language – see our moderation policy here.

Soon you will be able to register as a YouDriver – you’ll get your own health dashboard, be able to assess your own health, look at how to improve it and build your own action plans.

We also show you links to other sites offering support in this area and also some products and services which might help you on our Support pages, which you can go to by clicking the Support button below.

Get Support

There are times when you need some help to meet your aims. At YouDriveHealth we try to help you to take control of your own health. Sometimes however you need a helping hand.

As the next step we are compiling a list of experts who can help you, whether by providing advice, help or specialised services.  In the future you will be able to access these experts from anywhere on our site you see our ‘Experts’ symbol.

We will be adding to our list of experts continually; we try to recommend things and partners that we have used ourselves, but obviously we can’t take any responsibility for any specific outcomes.  

If you click the button you’ll see what our Experts list will look like, with a couple of imaginary ‘experts’ added!

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See what other things can help

More information

If you want to consider what impact a baby will have in terms of a timeline – using our tool from Money Advice Service

Look at how to secure your financial future as set out by MAS

See how much a baby costs with this calculator from the Money Advice Service (MAS)

Look at how to work out the costs of Christmas with this MAS calculator

Look at the options for separation / divorce as set out by MAS

Download the School Transition and Adjustment Research Study (STARS) report from UCL and Cardiff University on making the move to secondary school

Download the WiseUp report from the National Childrens Bureau Young Minds on prioritising wellbeing in schools

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