Mental Health Issues – the chocolate box is to blame

chocolate box

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It’s another lockdown – what will the impact be on people’s mental health and what can we do about it?

It’s another lockdown and there is growing concern about the impact on people’s mental health, with up to 10 million people needing new or  additional.mental health support as a result.  Here Martin and Chris from YouDriveHealth discuss what this means for some people and what can be done to help.

Discussion

Martin:

I really like the idea that you have mental health as well as physical health, and that these can be good, bad, in between or affected by something specific. It’s ever so clear that an accident can have a major impact on your physical health, but it’s not so obvious that life events such as a lockdown can have a major impact on your mental health.

Chris:

With life as it is now with a global pandemic and lockdowns, there’s no wonder a lot of people feel they have mental health issues. That doesn’t necessarily mean this is any form of mental illness. That’s a very strong word implying it requires medical intervention. Yes, there are real cases out there which do require professional help but where do you draw the line?

Are we mentally ill if we feel sad or down on a regular basis or over a period? What does regular mean and what period matters? What if there are lots of things happening in our lives that are causing upset – it could be a significant life/work change. I think that if that sadness or feeling down persists we might think let’s check it out, let’s talk to others and find out if it’s just life, and how others feel about it. This is where the problem often comes in, sometimes it’s difficult talking to people about what you might consider personal emotions and feelings.

Martin:

I guess the problem is that when we feel bad, other people can’t relate and don’t understand. With physical problems it’s clear, and it could happen to anyone. With mental health problems there is a social stigma attached. One in six people would have suffered from a mental health problem last week, so it’s not uncommon, but there’s a lot of discrimination involved.

Chris:

That’s true. If we talked more and did our own research, we might just find we are not alone and millions have the same problem. Depression is the largest mental health issue, and that can start from normal feelings of sadness. Initially the sadness could be a life issue and could be treated, but it can take hold and become a serious health condition. if your problem becomes serious then you need to try to understand the causes and recognise the symptoms, and if that doesn’t help talk to a counsellor or specialist body.

Martin:

It’s interesting that these issues can be treated if they are caught early enough. It’s interesting that so many people with poor mental health seemed to be on prescription drugs. There are a lot of alternatives to this, from simply talking things through with someone you trust or a health professional, although again there’s a stigma attached to the latter. There are other approaches used, such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), but also things like exercise, yoga and changes in diets help!

Chris:

I recall once chatting to a 30-year-old chap who said he was taking medication and I asked why? He said depression. We went for a coffee and I after one hour I said you know; I must have depression too because I feel just like you do. I never liked Sunday nights from being a child and it’s stuck with me all my life.

After further discussion we both realised that he didn’t need medication to make him feel happy – it was down to him, his family, his friends and colleagues who working together can provide support and help him overcome his life issues.

He explained that when he was young, life was like a chocolate box. He was told life is beautiful and anything is possible. It was only when he got into University and then work, he realised life is quite tough and he wasn’t really prepared for it. He didn’t want to blame his parents as he said they tried their best and provided for him and both were kind hard working parents.

Martin:

I read an article recently that said we were too clean for our own good. It had a great phrase – “germophobic parenting” – which means bringing kids up in too clean an environment. Basically your immune system has to know what to fight – what’s dangerous and should be attacked. If it does nothing, it can find the wrong things to fight, from pollen to peanuts, or our own bodies. Amazingly, having read that the next day Jeremy Clarkson had it in an article in the Sun! I wonder if our mental health is the same – without problems and knock-backs we don’t build up an immunity?

Chris:

Yes, it’s a real balance between letting our children grow up and find their own way or offering a soft tiller approach to make sure they don’t come a complete cropper!!

So, this chap, felt guilty as his parents had done their best in his eyes. But in reality, the coaching about life’s knocks could have been a bit better.

You see life isn’t a chocolate box and is this why so many younger members of our society are now struggling to deal with life issues, because they have never been exposed to life’s knocks.

I think life can be like getting in the boxing ring – the chances are you’re going to get punched. If you do, you have to get back up and learn to duck and weave because you’re going to get punched again.

Martin:

A very good friend of mine once told me that the best thing to teach your children was disappointment. I didn’t understand it at the time and thought it was a bit bleak! Later I got it. He said it made them stronger and more resilient – more able to deal with setbacks.

Chris:

The second area this chap talked about was self-motivation and self-worth. He felt down quite regularly as he struggled with his ideal job, finding a relationship, living at home, managing his finances. All these things he had to learn himself because his parents had never really trained him how to deal with it.

He complained that some days he felt really good but then found other people pee’d him off and he would get down. I said that you do get those people, the glass half empty forcefield busters. Again, his parents never educated him on those people or children in life that are determined to put you down and burst your bubble.

I said read the book ZAPP – you need to identify these people. They attempt to burst your inner positive bubble for a variety of reasons; jealousy, sour souls, internal frustrations, naturally negative people, spiteful people, their own stress levels etc. Often these people don’t always realise they are positive forcefield busters.

Martin:

Whenever you get in your car or at home you only need to listen to the news and hear how negative and deliberately depressing news headlines are pushed out every 30 minutes. No wonder we are all have mental health issues.

Chris:

With that guy we discussed how he wasn’t alone and I said next time you’re on the train or bus look at the faces of the people. Very few have a smile on their faces, most hate their jobs [70%] and cannot wait to get back home. They do this for 50 years and then retire. So, no wonder they have hidden frustrations and anxiety. When they see a positive person, they cannot wait to burst your bubble.

We concluded by him thinking he wasn’t the only person here and his negative feelings were resulting from dealing with life issues.

I said to him life is a journey not a destination and the road is never or very rarely paved with gold and smooth. On the contrary its full of obstacle, incendiary devices, mines, traps and people who don’t want you to succeed.

So, join the life club with me an actually embrace the feelings as they are life feelings. You cannot let them get out of control and need help sometimes when things get tough. But it’s down to you to manage.

Mental Health

This video describes mental health as a continuum, with illness at one end and extreme happiness / wellbeing at the other. The objective of an ‘intervention’ is to move people up to a better place in the continuum.

It describes how factors can affect our mental health.

This video is from Maudsleylearningonline

mind and mental health picture

Mind

all about mental health…

stress and stressed man

Stress

under pressure…

Lonely

isolated…

 

If you’d like to discuss life issues or mental health with Chris you can email him at ch***@yo************.com

YouDrive thinks…

We enjoyed the discussion – I hope some of it was interesting or vaguely relevant to you!

IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE A COMMENT, SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE!

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All areas of health are interlinked

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Find your initial focus

You might think that physical, financial and mental health are quite separate, and for some people they are. However, often a problem in one area has a knock-on effect on others. Losing your job can lead to anxiety and depression, which can turn you to drink and impact your health.

You might have a severe issue in one area but that can lead to problems in other areas, and the people treating you for the first problem won’t be equipped to deal with these linked issues.

For example, doctors and nurses can treat you for a physical problem but can’t advise you about your job or finances.  Nor for the anxiety that comes with it, apart from prescribing some drugs, which might or might not be the best solution.

We encourage you to take a holistic view – we look at all areas and offer support across the whole spectrum.

health areas interlinked

Even this view of health is simplistic, as you’ll discover later if you go down that route.  You might want to consider overall health, or wellness or wellbeing, which include additional types of health, such as occupational health (how you are in your job).   Then there’s happiness and quality of life – how do these fit?

If you’re interested in that, click the link here to see more information.

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Health Areas in Domains

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Domains

We break down the overall concept of health or wellness into ‘bite-sized chunks’ that we can actually do something about.  The first level we call health domains. 

We like the Life of Wellness site and we have chosen the following domains.

1. Emotional Wellness: Awareness and acceptance of feelings
2. Spiritual Wellness: A search for meaning and purpose
3. Intellectual Wellness: Recognition of your creativity, knowledge and skills
4. Physical Wellness: Need for physical activity and balanced nutrition
5. Environmental Wellness: Positive awareness and impact on your environment
6. Financial Wellness: Debt reduction, cash flow balance or financial future planning
7. Occupational Wellness: Personal achievement and enrichment from your career
8. Social Wellness: Contribution to your community

Health Areas

Within each domain, we have included a number of health areas. These are specific issues that you can tackle.  Within each health area, e.g. Depression, we have built additional information and exercises which you can do to help in the area. You can create your own Action Plan to address this area, and see

Emotional: Anxiety, Compassion Fatigue, Depression, Gambling, Laughter, Narcissistic, Personality Disorder, Sleep, Stress

Environmental: Environmental Issues, Greenness

Financial: Debt, Family Finance, Financial Planning, Financial Wellness

Intellectual: IQ, Personality, Procrastination

Occupational: Jobs for Different Personality Types, Retirement Income, Work Life Balance

Physical: Alcohol, Disabilities, Dizziness, Drugs, Fitness, Food Preferences, General Health, Healthy Ageing, Illness, Nutrition, Sleep Apnea, Smoking

Social: Communication Skills, Communication Styles, Domestic Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Love Partnerships, Mental Abuse, Parenting Styles, Sexual Addiction

Spiritual: Are You Sensitive, Mystical Guidance, Spirituality

Each health area has supporting information and its own questionnaire.

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Understand Health

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Physical, financial and mental health

One definition of health is:

Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity. 

The NHS define health as: ‘We use a broad definition of health that encompasses both physical and mental health, as well as wellbeing. This means we are not only interested in whether or not people are ill or have a health condition, but also in how healthy and well they are.’

We believe we also have to consider financial health, as this can easily impact physical and mental health. Click the button to see an example of how these are connected.

 It gets more complicated…

What is Health? How about Wellness, Wellbeing or Happiness?

The Active Wellbeing Society (TAWS) define Health as a state of the overall mental and physical state of a person; the absence of disease. They define Wellbeing or wellness as a way of life that aims to enhance well-being and refers to a more holistic whole-of-life experience which also includes emotional and spiritual aspects of life.  We expand on this definition of health to include financial health and mental health, to make it synonymous with wellbeing or wellness.  

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Health domains

You need to scroll down to see all the info in this popup – sorry for going on so much!

We break down the overall concept of health or wellness into ‘bite-sized chunks’ that we can actually do something about.  The first level we call health domains.

We like the Life of Wellness site and we have chosen the following domains.

1. Emotional Wellness: Awareness and acceptance of feelings
2. Spiritual Wellness: A search for meaning and purpose
3. Intellectual Wellness: Recognition of your creativity, knowledge and skills
4. Physical Wellness: Need for physical activity and balanced nutrition
5. Environmental Wellness: Positive awareness and impact on your environment
6. Financial Wellness: Debt reduction, cash flow balance or financial future planning
7. Occupational Wellness: Personal achievement and enrichment from your career
8. Social Wellness: Contribution to your community

wellness wheel

Health Areas

Within each domain, we have included a number of health areas. These are specific issues that you can tackle.  Within each health area, e.g. Depression, once you have subscribed we have built additional information and exercises which you can do to help in the area.

To close this box and go back click the X at the top or just click outside the box

See which domains you should address

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Having established that we use 8 domains, you need to understand which you should concentrate on.

The 8 are:

  • Emotional
  • Environmental
  • Financial
  • Intellectual
  • Occupational
  • Physical
  • Social
  • Spiritual

 

You can take a questionnaire, which scores you in each domain.  You can decide which domains you are strong in, and which you need to improve.

Another analysis shows which domains you should look at, but also which domains you want to look at.

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Locus of Control

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  • We want to help people in all aspects of their health  – physical, financial and mental. We also provide detailed explanations of how overall health (or well-being) is measured.
  • We believe these things are often linked, so we try and address health holistically. We are building templates, questionnaires and exercises to help you identify what’s important to you.
  • We think people should try and take responsibility for  of their own health as much as they can.  See below for what that means.

People look at things differently.  Some people believe things happen to them, while others believe they can influence what happens to them. Technically this is called the ‘locus of control’.  People can have an Internal or external Locus of Control

So how do you see things?

Psychology Today have a 15 minute test which gives you a summary of your position you can buy the detailed results if you want to.

My Personality Test have a 10 minute test which gives you a summary.

People tend to take more responsibility (locus gets more internal) as they get older.  However, external isn’t always bad – for example if you are physically unable to do some things you can accept it and focus on the things you can do.  This American video explains the concept and gives examples of how this can affect relationships.

locus of control

Internal

  • More likely to take responsibility for actions
  • Tend to be less influenced by others

External

  • Blame outside forces for what happens
  • Don’t believe they can change their situation themselves

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Add your attitude to change - see how you view changes in your life

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Do you need to change?

No matter how healthy you are at the moment, the chances are that there are some areas you could improve. It may be that you have a real problem in one or more areas, and you would like to make some improvements.

At YouDrive we accept that there are many different degrees of ‘not wellness’ in a large number of different health areas, ranging from physical illness such as covid-19 through mental illness such as anxiety through to financial problems like debt.  We try and help where the problem ranges from ‘slight’ to quite bad’ – after this expert help and intervention may be needed.

However, especially in these times, we have to try and make these changes ourselves, possibly with some help from others, whether remotely or face to face.

The thing is, to make an improvement we have to change some things.

This involves changing our behaviour in some respects, and that’s not always easy.

Henry Ford, the creator of the assembly line, is quoted as saying “if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got”.  

henry ford

Another way of looking at this: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” – attributed to Albert Einstein.

Consequently we need to make some changes.  The problem is that we have already developed a lot of habits, some of which we need to break and replace by better ones.  Some of our bad habits have become entrenched, and the bad results they create in turn engender further bad habits to develop – in effect the bad habits can feed on themselves.

We need to understand how we can make changes and stick to them, and that’s what this part of your health profile is about.

It will involve some learning, through reading, some videos and some additional information and also seeing how you react to change currently.

It will also ask you to consider whether you feel you are in charge of your future, or whether you feel it’s all fate.

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Assess your overall health using a health questionnaire

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At YouDrive we try and help people improve their health. We use ‘health’ but we understand there are other terms such as wellbeing or even happiness that reflect how we are doing in our lives – if you’re interested in the different definitions and ideas see our page on the subject.

We want to help whether you have a particular problem – physical, financial or mental – or if you just want to improve some specific part of your life or just make some improvements overall.

You’d be surprised, but there has been a serious amount of scientific work done in this area over the last twenty years.

So first we allow you to assess your current health (or wellbeing, or happiness).  We do this by questionnaire.  Which one is determined by the type of person you are:

  1. You understand yourself well and want a quick overview of your health and wellness, and will drill down in any areas needing work
  2. You want to do a more detailed assessment and then focus on areas you’re already aware of
  3. You want to look at the whole situation in more detail across all the health domains.

By the way, we take your privacy seriously – we collect information that you choose to provide but we de-identify it as much as possible and will never share it with anyone without your explicit consent.

You can then drill down into some specific areas and there are more questionnaires to see your situation in these particular areas.  We provide you with specific information and refer you to other potential aspects of help. Our next step is to build a personalised action plan – for now we will make a suggestion for you to develop your own plan and then after a time you can see whether this has had a positive impact by retaking the test.

In future we will be engaging with medical and behavioural specialists to devise action plans for individual people with specific situations.

We have an overall questionnaire which you can complete which will assess your current state.

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Values, Attitudes and Beliefs

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We all have our beliefs, attitudes and values – these have developed throughout our life based on who we are and what we have done. Let’s look at what these are.

The University of Reading explain: “People’s values, beliefs and attitudes are formed and bonded over time through the influences of family, friends, society and life experiences. So, by the time you’re an adult, you can hold very definite views on just about everything with a sense of “no one is going to change my mind”.

The combination of your personal values, beliefs and attitudes are your moral principles that guide you in life and affect your behaviour. However, your views can wildly differ to others and in an institution such as a school, these beliefs may be counter to the values of the school, child development or indeed the law.” 

Let’s look more closely at the differences between beliefs, attitudes and values.

Beliefs

These come from real experiences – we think our beliefs are based on reality, but in fact our beliefs colour our experiences; also, an original experience e.g. when we were a child is not the same as what’s happening now. Beliefs can be moral, religious or cultural and reflect who we are. They can be rational (‘it gets colder in winter’) or irrational (‘I am never going to make something of myself’).

Attitudes

This is an immediate belief or disposition about something specific. It is a recurring group of beliefs and behaviours aimed at specific groups, people, ideas or objects. They will normally be positive or negative and we will always behave that way to the target group. Examples of attitudes include confidence (I can or can’t do something), grateful (I an entitled to / grateful for XXX) and cheerful (I am generally happy / miserable).

Values

These are things (principles or qualities) that we hold in high regard or consider to be worthwhile or right / wrong. They are formed by a belief related to the worth of something – an idea or behaviour. Some values are common (e.g. family comes first, the value of friendship) or cultural (which the whole community have – see video at Study.com here)

The theory

Links to Wikipedia

Expectancy Value Theory suggests you balance your beliefs about something with the value you attach to it. The Theory of Reasoned Action suggests that beliefs and evaluation about behavioural outcomes determine attitudes, and intentions lead directly to behaviour.

Beliefs

Expressions of confidence – can change over time

Attitudes

Learned predispositions to something – are subject to change

Values

Ideals that guide our behaviour – Generally long lasting and often need life changing experience to change

Iceberg demonstrating implicit and explicit bias – from Owlcation

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A Butterfly Life: 4 Keys to More Happiness, Better Health and Letting Your True Self Shine

Times of change can be a challenge, no doubt! Whether it’s a relationship breakup, job loss, or being diagnosed with a serious health issue. Or you may WANT things to be different, but it feels a little scary or overwhelming. The butterfly reminds us change can be beautiful, even necessary, in order to realize our full potential and live our best life.