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Emotional Abuse

it's 07 May, 2024 7:45 am

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Emotional Abuse


This information is about the specific health area mentioned above. It comprises a combination of textual and video information, on our site and on external sites.  We will be adding new specific health areas and further information continually.

The idea is for you to understand more about the health area you are addressing before you get too far building your action plan.

General Information

Emotional Abuse is becoming more and more predominant today due to communications tools such as social media and the press. Many leading story lines are run on soaps making people more aware of what is happening behind closed doors. Physical abuse is well documented and there are legal steps people can take to stop physical abuse.

Emotional Abuse is much more subtle and often victims are often not even really aware that its taking place. Victims can spend a line time living under the shadow of another person living someone else’s life and been controlled.

Emotional Abuse can start as a child and carry on into adult even as a senior. Anyone can be a victim and the perpetrator also can come from all walks of life. Often perpetrators don’t realise they are manipulating, abusing, bullying another person.

If as an adult you are not living your own life or feel another person is controlling or overinfluencing your decisions then this is emotional abuse. Often people will turn a blind eye to this and say” they just care for me and have my best interests in mind” this is often not he case.

If you want to know whether you are suffering from emotional abuse, then simply answer these questions. If you answer Yes to some of these, you might want to take our test.

• Does your partner insist he or she is always right and you are always wrong?
• Do you have the feeling that your partner wants you to admit that he or she is superior to you?
• Do you tiptoe around your partner for fear of triggering an angry outburst?
• Does your partner withhold material items or affection?
• Is your partner often grumpy or irritable?
• Does your partner threaten you?
• Is your partner selfish and uncooperative?
• Do you and your partner often get into verbal arguments?
• Do you feel unloved or misunderstood by your partner?

If so you can take the test, look at the on National Helpline or contact one of our experts who can help you decide if you are suffering from emotional abuse.

Background Information

There is information available which will help you formulate your action plan – both on our site and on external sites.

On our site


MindDrive is all about knowing your own mind. Taking control of your life and making sure your in the driving seat.

We have relevant information on MindDrive

PersonalityDrive covers all aspects of personality, including personality disorders and a section on locus of control, which is about taking responsibility for your own life.

Knowing yourself and taking personal responsibility for your life is key to avoiding emotional abuse. Recognising everyone has an opinion and its good to seek others advice but that’s what it is advice. Advice which you can dissect and then come to your own conclusion.

  • We want to help people in all aspects of their health  – physical, financial and mental. We also provide detailed explanations of how overall health (or well-being) is measured.
  • We believe these things are often linked, so we try and address health holistically. We are building flow charts and decision trees to help you identify what’s important to you.
  • We think people should try and take responsibility for  of their own health as much as they can.  See below for what that means.

Taking personal responsibility

People look at things differently.  Some people believe things happen to them, while others believe they can influence what happens to them. Technically this is called the ‘locus of control’.  People can have an Internal or external Locus of Control


  • More likely to take responsibility for actions
  • Tend to be less influenced by others


  • Blame outside forces for what happens
  • Don’t believe they can change their situation themselves

People tend to take more responsibility (locus gets more internal) as they get older.  However, external isn’t always bad – for example if you are physically unable to do some things you can accept it and focus on the things you can do.  This American video explains the concept and gives examples of how this can affect relationships.

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We have relevant information on PersonalityDrive

On external site(s)

The awareness centre shows you the clear signs of emotional abuse and how to deal with them.

We have experts that can help you identify situations and work with you to enable you to take control of your life. not only gives you examples of abuse but also how to overcome them.


Sometimes the owner of a video will not allow the video to be played on external sites.  If you see the video is unavailable on the left just click the ‘WATCH NOW’ link on the right and the video will play in a new window.

What emotional abuse does to your brain

The Minds Journal has a video on how emotional abuse affects your brain.

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In order for you to assess what you know about this health area, we suggest using a questionnaire. This might help you understand your situation in this area, or taking it might improve your understanding of the area.

You may be able to take this questionnaire online – either here on our site or on an external site – or download it and complete it on paper – it depends on copyright (and whether we’ve managed to build it on our site!).

The ways you can take a questionnaire:

External site questionnaire, Questionnaire on our site

Take Questionnaire on our site

You can take a questionnaire on our site. This will score the questions automatically and give you a summary showing what your score means.

Our Questionnaire

Our questionnaire is from couples therapist Abe Kass,  MA RSW RMFT CCHT, who also authors GoSmartLife. More than a million individuals have taken this scientific-based Emotional Abuse Test!

It is 15 simple questions with multiple choice answers, and it give you a score which can indicate whether you are suffering from emotional abuse.  If you are, you can contact the Refuge Helpline

Welcome to your Financial Wellness Questionnaire - this is taken from the Dimensions of Wellness.

Take the quiz below to see how close you are to achieving financial health.  It's only 10 questions each with four possible answers.  At the end you'll get a score and a rating, with a bit of (tongue in cheek) advice as to how to improve.  It's a US based quiz so some of the terminology is a bit odd in the UK, but you'll get the idea!


Do you have cash in your pocket?

Do you balance your bank account regularly?

Do you know the total amount of debt you have?

Do you have a retirement account?

Do you feel there is plenty of time in the day?

Do you know how much is in your retirement account?

Do you know where your retirement is invested?

Are you happy with your job?

Do you know what your net worth is?

Do you know what net worth means?

Take questionnaire on external site

You can take this questionnaire on at least one external site.

facealife have a test for psychological abuse which doesn’t require an email address

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A Butterfly Life: 4 Keys to More Happiness, Better Health and Letting Your True Self Shine

Times of change can be a challenge, no doubt! Whether it’s a relationship breakup, job loss, or being diagnosed with a serious health issue. Or you may WANT things to be different, but it feels a little scary or overwhelming. The butterfly reminds us change can be beautiful, even necessary, in order to realize our full potential and live our best life.