Your Dashboard Tools

it's 19 Sep, 2024 7:11 pm

How to take steps to improve your love partnership

Health Area(s): General Health, Healthy Ageing, Love Partnerships, Occupational, Personality Types, Sexual Addiction, Sleep, Sleep Apnea, Social, Work Life Balance
Health Area(s): General Health, Healthy Ageing, Love Partnerships, Occupational, Personality Types, Sexual Addiction, Sleep, Sleep Apnea, Social, Work Life Balance

field_5f0c304c72876 - is the title of the exercise

Exercise Summary

The following was published by New NewsBD at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bD1wH4DzEHo

7 Simple Ways You Can Become a Better Partner
Romantic relationships are dynamic. They continuously change, reflecting circumstances, stresses, and the everyday ups and downs experienced by both partners. What happens to “me” and to “you” ultimately affects “us.” The healthiest relationships have partners who routinely (if subconsciously) check in with themselves, their partner, and their relationship to see how things are going and to make changes as necessary.

How can you respond to relationship changes? A great starting place is to evaluate your own contributions to your relationship. What are you doing that helps—or hurts—your relationship happiness? How are your actions and beliefs influencing the quality of your and your partner’s everyday interactions?

Scientific evidence supports the idea that each partner is responsible for the health of his or her relationship. To do your part, consider these simple, empirically-based changes as a guide toward a happier and healthier partnership:

Main Activity

Study, educate and create an action plan of activity

The following was published by New NewsBD at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bD1wH4DzEHo

Get more sleep.
Taking care of yourself is a win-win for you and your relationship, and sleep is at the top of the list. Not only can sleep deprivation affect your energy, mental alertness, and mood, but it reduces glucose levels, which adversely affects self-control.
Self-control plays a big role in relationship success: Those with higher self-control are more able to respond in constructive ways to their partners and the more self-control couples have, the higher their relationship quality tends to be.
Take action. Certain behaviours make a difference in relationship happiness. These maintenance behaviours often come naturally, but intentional efforts to engage in them could benefit relationships. Research shows the power of these seven behaviours in particular in predicting relationship satisfaction, liking, love, and commitment:
Positivity. Express happiness and pleasure when spending time together.
Understanding. Listen, forgive, apologize, and refrain from judgment.
Giving assurance. Talk about the future; remind your partner what he/she means to you.
Self-disclosing. Share feelings and encourage your partner to do the same.
Openness. Share what you need or want in the relationship.
Sharing tasks. Equitably share responsibilities (e.g., family, household, relationship).
Involve networks. Spend time with your partner’s friends and family.
Express your gratitude. Feeling grateful is one thing, but telling your partner is another. Do you express your gratitude? It turns out that sharing your feelings of gratitude is linked to positive partner perceptions and a willingness to voice relationship concerns (Lambert & Fincham, 2011), which helps maintain healthy relationships.
Avoid hunger. New plans for physical health and wellness often involve diet changes (eat more veggies, etc.), but do what you can to avoid hunger. New evidence suggests that restrictive dieting can have a negative effect on relationship quality. When you’re hungry, anger and aggression are more likely; in relationships, these “hangry” moments do little to promote relationship well-being.
Focus on humility. Help your relationship by keeping a check on your ego. Not only are humble people evaluated more positively as potential relationship partners, but humility seems to be an important ingredient for relationship success. It may improve relationships through its association with forgiveness, a powerful tool for healthy relationships.
Spend quality time together. Much anecdotal evidence suggests that spending more time together increases relationship satisfaction, but only recently has research scrutinized whether time really does increase satisfaction, or whether perhaps relationship satisfaction increases time spent together. Contrary to widespread belief, long-distance relationships are no different in their relationship quality despite the idea that couples in long-distance relationships spend less time together. The results suggest we might attend more to the quality of the time spent with our partner, rather than the quantity.
Be kind to yourself. To be the best partner you can be, start by being kind to yourself. Scientific evidence is accumulating in support of the idea that self-compassion is a wonderful foundation for a healthy partnership. Self-compassion is a habit of gentleness towards oneself during times of failure, inadequacy, and imperfection. Evidence shows that self-compassion predicts the types of behaviours that translate into healthier relationships, such as offering care and concern for a partner. Working on ourselves can benefit our relationships.

We suggest a frequency of: Weekly
and it could last 1
hours

Video

Title

Summary

Play

7 Daily Habits That Build A Strong Romantic Relationship
Physical affection is one of the most essential parts of the passionate relationship. That’s why you should embrace, kiss, and hold each other’s hand. It’s a great design to display your love, care, and support. Don’t delay, and cuddle your loved one each time you want.2. Practice Free And Open Communication.The news is a great way to learn to know each other better, to hold and know each other. It can help to explain all the problems and avoid arguments. That’s why it’s so important to tell, with your loved one a lot.
How to Fix a Relationship That is Falling Apart
The best way to fix a relationship that is falling apart is to stop setting off negative chain reactions while you still can.From this moment onwards, start setting off positive chain reactions, so both of you can breathe a sigh of relief and feel some hope that you can work things out.When both of you start to feel happier and more in love, you can see that the relationship is going to get better and better now, so there’s no reason to break up.That is the most effective, mature way to do it.Gaining control over the chain reactions is what really stops a break up and makes a woman want to stay.So, how does it work?Here’s an example of a negative vs. positive chain reaction…Negative chain reaction:Regular arguments – leads to – you and her feeling angry at each other, resentful and possibly blame the other person for the problem – leads to – you and her feeling more and more disconnected from each other – lead to – You and her feel less and less happy in the relationship.The arguments and the negative chain reactions that flow on from it, eventually become one of the things that leads to a break up.Positive chain reaction:Regular laughter – leads to – You and her feeling happy, relaxed and enjoy each other’s company – leads to – You and her feeling close and connected with each other.The laughter and the positive chain reactions that flow on from it become one of the many things that keeps your relationship happy, in love and together for life.Which of those is more like your current relationship?The fact is, you can choose to continue allowing negative chain reactions to be set off in your relationship, which will cause you and her to remain on the brink of a break up, until it actually happens.Alternatively, you can gain control over your relationship by actively setting off positive chain reaction effects from now on.When you do that, both you and her will immediately start to feel better about each other and the relationship.By the way…What’s important to understand and remember, is that everything you say or do around your girlfriend or wife, either sets off a positive chain reaction effect or a negative one.You are in control of it.You can literally begin to steer the relationship into a more loving, relaxed, happy, close and enjoying relationship starting from today.The more positive chain reaction effects you set off, the happier and more in love both of you will feel.You can start doing it right now and you can get better and better at it over the coming weeks, months, years and decades.As the days, months and years go on, your relationship will feel increasingly amazing for both you and her.Neither of you will ever want to break up with each other because you will feel so good together.No-one else will be able to replace either one of you and be able to set off the high level of positive chain reactions that happen in your relationship.It makes your relationship practically unbreakable.By the way…If you’d like to learn more, then I recommend that you watch or listen to my relationship program, Make Her Love You For Life: https://www.themodernman.com/blog/mak…​When you watch or listen to the program, you will learn all of my best techniques and methods for creating and maintaining an easy, enjoyable, attracted, in love relationship with a woman that lasts for life.It’s very easy to do.You can literally create a relationship dynamic that makes both you and her fall more and more in love with each other over time and become increasingly happy together.

Now you have to decide if you want this exercise to be part of your action plan.

If you don’t, then either hit the back arrow or click the button to go back to look at another exercise.

If you do, then carry on down the page and follow the instructions. 

If you want to include this exercise in your action plan, select Yes from on the right then click  the green button saying ‘Include this exercise’.

Sadly you’ll go back to the top of this page – please scroll down and fill in the bits that appear before here.

Add a comment

You can leave a comment below – we’ll get back to you.

All areas of health are interlinked

You need to scroll down to see all the info in this popup – sorry for going on so much!

Find your initial focus

You might think that physical, financial and mental health are quite separate, and for some people they are. However, often a problem in one area has a knock-on effect on others. Losing your job can lead to anxiety and depression, which can turn you to drink and impact your health.

You might have a severe issue in one area but that can lead to problems in other areas, and the people treating you for the first problem won’t be equipped to deal with these linked issues.

For example, doctors and nurses can treat you for a physical problem but can’t advise you about your job or finances.  Nor for the anxiety that comes with it, apart from prescribing some drugs, which might or might not be the best solution.

We encourage you to take a holistic view – we look at all areas and offer support across the whole spectrum.

health areas interlinked

Even this view of health is simplistic, as you’ll discover later if you go down that route.  You might want to consider overall health, or wellness or wellbeing, which include additional types of health, such as occupational health (how you are in your job).   Then there’s happiness and quality of life – how do these fit?

If you’re interested in that, click the link here to see more information.

To close this box and go back click the X at the top or just click outside the box

Health Areas in Domains

You need to scroll down to see all the info in this popup – sorry for going on so much!

Domains

We break down the overall concept of health or wellness into ‘bite-sized chunks’ that we can actually do something about.  The first level we call health domains. 

We like the Life of Wellness site and we have chosen the following domains.

1. Emotional Wellness: Awareness and acceptance of feelings
2. Spiritual Wellness: A search for meaning and purpose
3. Intellectual Wellness: Recognition of your creativity, knowledge and skills
4. Physical Wellness: Need for physical activity and balanced nutrition
5. Environmental Wellness: Positive awareness and impact on your environment
6. Financial Wellness: Debt reduction, cash flow balance or financial future planning
7. Occupational Wellness: Personal achievement and enrichment from your career
8. Social Wellness: Contribution to your community

Health Areas

Within each domain, we have included a number of health areas. These are specific issues that you can tackle.  Within each health area, e.g. Depression, we have built additional information and exercises which you can do to help in the area. You can create your own Action Plan to address this area, and see

Emotional: Anxiety, Compassion Fatigue, Depression, Gambling, Laughter, Narcissistic, Personality Disorder, Sleep, Stress

Environmental: Environmental Issues, Greenness

Financial: Debt, Family Finance, Financial Planning, Financial Wellness

Intellectual: IQ, Personality, Procrastination

Occupational: Jobs for Different Personality Types, Retirement Income, Work Life Balance

Physical: Alcohol, Disabilities, Dizziness, Drugs, Fitness, Food Preferences, General Health, Healthy Ageing, Illness, Nutrition, Sleep Apnea, Smoking

Social: Communication Skills, Communication Styles, Domestic Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Love Partnerships, Mental Abuse, Parenting Styles, Sexual Addiction

Spiritual: Are You Sensitive, Mystical Guidance, Spirituality

Each health area has supporting information and its own questionnaire.

To close this box and go back click the X at the top or just click outside the box

Understand Health

You need to scroll down to see all the info in this popup – sorry for going on so much!

Physical, financial and mental health

One definition of health is:

Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity. 

The NHS define health as: ‘We use a broad definition of health that encompasses both physical and mental health, as well as wellbeing. This means we are not only interested in whether or not people are ill or have a health condition, but also in how healthy and well they are.’

We believe we also have to consider financial health, as this can easily impact physical and mental health. Click the button to see an example of how these are connected.

 It gets more complicated…

What is Health? How about Wellness, Wellbeing or Happiness?

The Active Wellbeing Society (TAWS) define Health as a state of the overall mental and physical state of a person; the absence of disease. They define Wellbeing or wellness as a way of life that aims to enhance well-being and refers to a more holistic whole-of-life experience which also includes emotional and spiritual aspects of life.  We expand on this definition of health to include financial health and mental health, to make it synonymous with wellbeing or wellness.  

To close this box and go back click the X at the top or just click outside the box

Health domains

You need to scroll down to see all the info in this popup – sorry for going on so much!

We break down the overall concept of health or wellness into ‘bite-sized chunks’ that we can actually do something about.  The first level we call health domains.

We like the Life of Wellness site and we have chosen the following domains.

1. Emotional Wellness: Awareness and acceptance of feelings
2. Spiritual Wellness: A search for meaning and purpose
3. Intellectual Wellness: Recognition of your creativity, knowledge and skills
4. Physical Wellness: Need for physical activity and balanced nutrition
5. Environmental Wellness: Positive awareness and impact on your environment
6. Financial Wellness: Debt reduction, cash flow balance or financial future planning
7. Occupational Wellness: Personal achievement and enrichment from your career
8. Social Wellness: Contribution to your community

wellness wheel

Health Areas

Within each domain, we have included a number of health areas. These are specific issues that you can tackle.  Within each health area, e.g. Depression, once you have subscribed we have built additional information and exercises which you can do to help in the area.

To close this box and go back click the X at the top or just click outside the box

See which domains you should address

You need to scroll down to see all the info in this popup – sorry for going on so much!

Having established that we use 8 domains, you need to understand which you should concentrate on.

The 8 are:

  • Emotional
  • Environmental
  • Financial
  • Intellectual
  • Occupational
  • Physical
  • Social
  • Spiritual

 

You can take a questionnaire, which scores you in each domain.  You can decide which domains you are strong in, and which you need to improve.

Another analysis shows which domains you should look at, but also which domains you want to look at.

To close this box and go back click the X at the top or just click outside the box

Locus of Control

You need to scroll down to see all the info in this popup – sorry for going on so much!

  • We want to help people in all aspects of their health  – physical, financial and mental. We also provide detailed explanations of how overall health (or well-being) is measured.
  • We believe these things are often linked, so we try and address health holistically. We are building templates, questionnaires and exercises to help you identify what’s important to you.
  • We think people should try and take responsibility for  of their own health as much as they can.  See below for what that means.

People look at things differently.  Some people believe things happen to them, while others believe they can influence what happens to them. Technically this is called the ‘locus of control’.  People can have an Internal or external Locus of Control

So how do you see things?

Psychology Today have a 15 minute test which gives you a summary of your position you can buy the detailed results if you want to.

My Personality Test have a 10 minute test which gives you a summary.

People tend to take more responsibility (locus gets more internal) as they get older.  However, external isn’t always bad – for example if you are physically unable to do some things you can accept it and focus on the things you can do.  This American video explains the concept and gives examples of how this can affect relationships.

locus of control

Internal

  • More likely to take responsibility for actions
  • Tend to be less influenced by others

External

  • Blame outside forces for what happens
  • Don’t believe they can change their situation themselves

To close this box and go back click the X at the top or just click outside the box

Add your attitude to change - see how you view changes in your life

You need to scroll down to see all the info in this popup – sorry for going on so much!

Do you need to change?

No matter how healthy you are at the moment, the chances are that there are some areas you could improve. It may be that you have a real problem in one or more areas, and you would like to make some improvements.

At YouDrive we accept that there are many different degrees of ‘not wellness’ in a large number of different health areas, ranging from physical illness such as covid-19 through mental illness such as anxiety through to financial problems like debt.  We try and help where the problem ranges from ‘slight’ to quite bad’ – after this expert help and intervention may be needed.

However, especially in these times, we have to try and make these changes ourselves, possibly with some help from others, whether remotely or face to face.

The thing is, to make an improvement we have to change some things.

This involves changing our behaviour in some respects, and that’s not always easy.

Henry Ford, the creator of the assembly line, is quoted as saying “if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got”.  

henry ford

Another way of looking at this: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” – attributed to Albert Einstein.

Consequently we need to make some changes.  The problem is that we have already developed a lot of habits, some of which we need to break and replace by better ones.  Some of our bad habits have become entrenched, and the bad results they create in turn engender further bad habits to develop – in effect the bad habits can feed on themselves.

We need to understand how we can make changes and stick to them, and that’s what this part of your health profile is about.

It will involve some learning, through reading, some videos and some additional information and also seeing how you react to change currently.

It will also ask you to consider whether you feel you are in charge of your future, or whether you feel it’s all fate.

To close this box and go back click the X at the top or just click outside the box

Assess your overall health using a health questionnaire

You need to scroll down to see all the info in this popup – sorry for going on so much!

At YouDrive we try and help people improve their health. We use ‘health’ but we understand there are other terms such as wellbeing or even happiness that reflect how we are doing in our lives – if you’re interested in the different definitions and ideas see our page on the subject.

We want to help whether you have a particular problem – physical, financial or mental – or if you just want to improve some specific part of your life or just make some improvements overall.

You’d be surprised, but there has been a serious amount of scientific work done in this area over the last twenty years.

So first we allow you to assess your current health (or wellbeing, or happiness).  We do this by questionnaire.  Which one is determined by the type of person you are:

  1. You understand yourself well and want a quick overview of your health and wellness, and will drill down in any areas needing work
  2. You want to do a more detailed assessment and then focus on areas you’re already aware of
  3. You want to look at the whole situation in more detail across all the health domains.

By the way, we take your privacy seriously – we collect information that you choose to provide but we de-identify it as much as possible and will never share it with anyone without your explicit consent.

You can then drill down into some specific areas and there are more questionnaires to see your situation in these particular areas.  We provide you with specific information and refer you to other potential aspects of help. Our next step is to build a personalised action plan – for now we will make a suggestion for you to develop your own plan and then after a time you can see whether this has had a positive impact by retaking the test.

In future we will be engaging with medical and behavioural specialists to devise action plans for individual people with specific situations.

We have an overall questionnaire which you can complete which will assess your current state.

To close this box and go back click the X at the top or just click outside the box

Values, Attitudes and Beliefs

You need to scroll down to see all the info in this popup – sorry for going on so much!

We all have our beliefs, attitudes and values – these have developed throughout our life based on who we are and what we have done. Let’s look at what these are.

The University of Reading explain: “People’s values, beliefs and attitudes are formed and bonded over time through the influences of family, friends, society and life experiences. So, by the time you’re an adult, you can hold very definite views on just about everything with a sense of “no one is going to change my mind”.

The combination of your personal values, beliefs and attitudes are your moral principles that guide you in life and affect your behaviour. However, your views can wildly differ to others and in an institution such as a school, these beliefs may be counter to the values of the school, child development or indeed the law.” 

Let’s look more closely at the differences between beliefs, attitudes and values.

Beliefs

These come from real experiences – we think our beliefs are based on reality, but in fact our beliefs colour our experiences; also, an original experience e.g. when we were a child is not the same as what’s happening now. Beliefs can be moral, religious or cultural and reflect who we are. They can be rational (‘it gets colder in winter’) or irrational (‘I am never going to make something of myself’).

Attitudes

This is an immediate belief or disposition about something specific. It is a recurring group of beliefs and behaviours aimed at specific groups, people, ideas or objects. They will normally be positive or negative and we will always behave that way to the target group. Examples of attitudes include confidence (I can or can’t do something), grateful (I an entitled to / grateful for XXX) and cheerful (I am generally happy / miserable).

Values

These are things (principles or qualities) that we hold in high regard or consider to be worthwhile or right / wrong. They are formed by a belief related to the worth of something – an idea or behaviour. Some values are common (e.g. family comes first, the value of friendship) or cultural (which the whole community have – see video at Study.com here)

The theory

Links to Wikipedia

Expectancy Value Theory suggests you balance your beliefs about something with the value you attach to it. The Theory of Reasoned Action suggests that beliefs and evaluation about behavioural outcomes determine attitudes, and intentions lead directly to behaviour.

Beliefs

Expressions of confidence – can change over time

Attitudes

Learned predispositions to something – are subject to change

Values

Ideals that guide our behaviour – Generally long lasting and often need life changing experience to change

Iceberg demonstrating implicit and explicit bias – from Owlcation

To close this box and go back click the X at the top or just click outside the box

A Butterfly Life: 4 Keys to More Happiness, Better Health and Letting Your True Self Shine

Times of change can be a challenge, no doubt! Whether it’s a relationship breakup, job loss, or being diagnosed with a serious health issue. Or you may WANT things to be different, but it feels a little scary or overwhelming. The butterfly reminds us change can be beautiful, even necessary, in order to realize our full potential and live our best life.