Childhood and Growing Up - Early Years

Welcome to next stage of your Life Journey: Childhood. The stage from giving birth to becoming a teenager and onto adulthood can be a bumpy road and there are many twists and turns along the way.

As parents we are on watch for 20 years and during this time we are expected to think on our feet, run and chew gum at the same time, have eyes in the back of your head, and that’s just before lunch. Since the 90s this has increased further as many young adults are maturing more slowly and staying at home later into their twenties.

In this modern world this is made even harder because in many family households both parents work full time. Juggling work commitments, bringing up children and working full time is a major strain on both parents and something usually has to give.

Here are some intitla thoughts about early years. GO!

Here are some facts and stats  about ealy years. GO!

This section explains about the first year of your baby’s life. GO!

This section explains about a baby’s physical development. GO!

See how babies hear and see. GO!

This section describes what happens to the foetus in the womb.  GO!

See what the little ones get up to!  GO!

See about babies feeding and sleeping  GO!

This section explores the financial aspects of starting a family.  GO!

What you are as a parent is soon reflected in your children  GO!

It’s important to teach kids right from wrong – they don’t know.  GO!

Kids will always test the boundaries GO!

What’s the balance between freedom of choice or discipline GO!

Is your child a genius? GO!

Many parents and children don’t understand emotional intelligence GO!

Is your child the youngest or the oldest in the class? GO!

Is it a good idea to wrap your kids in cotton wool? GO!

You may want to join us GO!

We have a testimonial  GO!

What next?  GO!

Some stuff you might like?  GO!

Some Initial Thoughts

young child eating

Welcome to parenthood!

When you hear from the kitchen – “there’s nothing to eat” right after you spent your week's wages at the supermarket.

What children eat and drink during their early years can affect their health for many years to come. General eating habits are formed in the first few years of life, so it is important that we encourage our children to eat nutritious food.

Children need to eat more as they grow. As a guide, your child should eat these foods every day: 2 - 3 years: 1 serving of fruit; 2½ servings of vegetables; 4 servings of grains; 1 serving of meat/poultry; 1½ servings of dairy.

adolescent mental health issues

Why are so many young adults suffering from anxiety and stress?

It's quite simple really but very individual. It's nature or nurture or both. If a person has a nervous disposition and their environment is the same, then you will see the acute condition. But if the nature is strong and the nurture is too protective (parents keep their child over-protected from society) then when they get into the adult workplace, they have a meltdown.

Facts About conception, maternity and birth

children
10 thousand

In 2021 200,000 children under 5 will attend first school unable to read. ONS

children under 11
1 out of 10

9 out of 10 children under 11 cannot swim a 100m

young people
1 %

of 16-24 year olds 2019 identify as LGBT

prescriptions
10 million

were written in 2019/20 for mental health issues

Student drinkers
80%

Of students drink alcohol every day

Obese pregnant women
25%

of 18-24 year early pregnant women are obese :AYPH

Self harm
9%

of the 16-24 age group reporting self-harm was 9%

Increase in antidepressants
23.3%

76.3 million antidepressant items were prescribed in 2019/20, a 23.3% increase

first 12 months chart

The first 12 months

What a wonderful period this is for parents - watching their child learn to crawl, walk and talk. This is the second stage of making sure that their environment is sound. Can you imagine you have this little bundle of flesh and bones with a grey matter, eyes and ears and nose. What parents do not always take into consideration is that this combination of senses is like a permanent video recorder. Watching, listening, observing and recording information and data for later usage.

Parents think these babies don’t understand or cannot comprehend but they can record and when the brain is more developed, they can re-evaluate that recording especially if its traumatic. The world can be a big and scary place for a new baby. They don’t know you’re there to comfort, feed and care for them.


Your baby can’t understand that they’re comfortable because they’re full and safe, or uncomfortable because they’re afraid or hungry.

From your smell and voice, your baby will quickly learn to recognise you’re the person who comforts and feeds them most, but not that you’re their parent.

However, even from birth, your baby will start to communicate with signals when they’re tired and hungry, or awake and alert.

Your baby is learning all the time. Your job is to help them know that the world is a friendly place, where their needs will be met, so they can learn to feel safe and loved.

 

social and emotional impacts for baby

DNA – It’s all in the DNA - or is it?

For your new baby, everything is new and scary at first, even a nappy change.
They don’t know that they're a person.
They don’t know who comes when they cry.
They feel happy when feeding, but don’t know what ‘happy’ is.
They cry when they’re hungry or tired, but don’t understand you are there to care for them.

Crying
Babies under 3 months often cry a lot, especially in the late afternoon or evening. We’re not sure, but this crying, often called colic, might be partly caused by your baby simply being overwhelmed by everything that’s happening, both inside their body and outside.

‘Jiggling’ is not a good way to settle your baby. It can be very scary or even painful, even if they stop crying. It is important to never shake a baby.

More on crying

Newborn babies do not cry ‘for attention’ or to punish their parents.
In their first 3 months, a new baby cannot decide to cry. They’ll cry because of something they’re feeling or that’s happening. They don’t understand what is happening and that you might be able to help them feel better.
Your baby likes the full feeling they have after a feed, when they hear your soothing voice, or when they’re being cuddled.
They don’t like feeling hungry or frightened.
But they can’t understand that feelings are caused by a full tummy or hunger.
Why does my baby cry when I’m upset?
Because babies feel but aren’t yet able to think, your baby will pick up your feelings. They’ll be calm when you’re calm and unhappy if you are unhappy.
If you feel upset, they’ll feel upset too, though they won’t know why they’re feeling that way.
So, when you’re tired and frazzled, your baby may be hard to settle, making things seem even worse!

Each baby is different

It really is true. Each baby has a different personality. They may be easy going and placid, or shy and worried, or easily upset.
You’ll get to know this over the next few months. Your baby is different and will grow and develop in the way that is right for them.

Your face and voice

The human face is the first and most important shape that your baby learns.
The sounds of human voices are also important, even though your baby doesn’t understand them.
Your baby is interested in you – especially your voice and your face.
Looking into someone’s eyes is a vital part of forming close and loving relationships. Show your baby your face and gently talk to your baby right from the start.
Don’t feel rejected if your baby sometimes turns away. Tiny babies often get tired when they interact – they just need a rest.
Babies need to feel safe – that you’re looking after them. They often begin to smile at a familiar face and look at you carefully by 4 to 6 weeks.

When it’s all too much

Since your baby doesn’t understand what’s happening around them, your baby can become upset if there’s too much to see or do.
They can easily feel overwhelmed by sounds, colours, shapes and touch. Sometimes it’s just too much!
Loud noises may frighten your baby in the first months, but you can soothe them by talking in a gentle voice, humming, playing lullabies, or playing music they heard during pregnancy.

child's physical development

Physical Development

Still developing

Although babies are ready to live and grow outside the womb, parts of their bodies are still immature. Your new baby’s body is all brand new and never been used before. It will take the first 3 months to get your baby’s digestive system running smoothly. You can tell by your baby’s face when they’re focused on whatever’s going on inside their tummy.

Moving

Your new baby will move their body while they’re awake, but your baby doesn’t know how to make each part of their body move, or even that all the bits belong to them.

In the first 8 weeks, your baby has no control over their movements; the movements are an involuntary reflex. Sucking, grasping (holding something tight in the hand), and startling (‘jumping’ when there is a loud noise or when they’re suddenly moved) are all reflexes.

From about 8 weeks, your baby will begin to watch their hands and feet wave in the air, and to wave their fist towards your face or something they want. Your baby’s starting to get the idea that they have a body that moves, feels and has skin all around it, and that they have some control over what it does. Your baby will start to work out how to lift their head when lying on their tummy, and kick their legs.

Safety

Even though your baby can’t roll, they can wriggle and kick, so never leave them alone on a high surface such as your bed or a change table.

baby hearing and seeing

Hearing and seeing

Newborn babies can hear – your baby has been hearing noises from well before they were born.

They can see, but only see close things clearly.

In the first 3 months your baby will be attracted by faces, bright lights and colours, stripes, dots and patterns, but not understand what they’re seeing.

They’ll first recognise that eyes, nose and mouth make a face. Then your baby will begin to recognise particular faces and other things like their teddy. Hang pictures of faces and simple toys above the cot to give your baby practice at looking and learning.

baby speech and language

Speech and Language

Babies show how they feel through their face, voice and body movements. Crying is the main way your newborn baby can let you know something is wrong, and soon they may start having different cries for different things – hunger, pain, wet, cold, fear and loneliness.

You will begin to recognise these different cries in the first few weeks. Babies have no understanding about time so, for them; all their needs are immediate and urgent.

Try to respond to your baby as quickly as you can so they begin to understand you’ll be there when they call out for you. This develops the feeling of security, which is very important. By 7 or 8 weeks, your baby will be making cooing and simple sounds. They’ll also listen to what you say, then make noises back as they ‘talk’ to you.

early activities

Activities

Make a face mobile and hang it above their cot, facing them.
Stroke different parts of their body to see how they like to be touched.
Speak to them gently and use their name.
Play music.
Sing to your baby.
Cuddle your baby a lot.
Let them look at your face as you talk to your baby.
Copy their little gestures.
Gently rock them.

Feeding and sleeping

Babies need to feed throughout the night in the first few months. Most babies wake every 2 to 3 hours for a feed, and sleep a total of 12 to 20 hours each day – this is normal. Some babies will resettle when you just touch and soothe them – others may need a feed.

Do not leave your baby on their tummy when they sleep. Sleeping on the tummy increases the risk of Sudden Unexpected Death in Infancy.

Children learn from their parents and people around them

Parents often carry on their lives oblivious that kids are watching and listening. Not only watching but looking at body language and facial expressions.

If parents are shouting and arguing in front of children then this becomes learned behaviour. Parents hitting each other, swearing, stamping around are just role models for their kids and kids can often imitate what parents do. Kids would never wash if a parent didn’t make them. Ever remember going to school and sitting next to stinky Smith; well guess what, sadly stinky Smith usually would have come from the stinky Smith residence where everyone in the street could smell them.

bad habits children learn

What you are as a parent is soon reflected in your children

One of our biggest responsibilities is to be a good example to our children. This is because children, especially during the first 5 years of life, imitate everything they see in adults.

Why do Children Imitate Adults?

For better or for worse, children imitate adults. Almost without us realizing it, their small eyes study and hone in on us, working in behaviours, copying gestures, and internalizing words, expressions, and even roles. We know that children will never be exact copies of their parents; the imprint we leave on them, however, is decisive. This is something that has always been clear in the area of the psychology of development. Albert Bandura, for example, a recognized psychologist in the field of social learning, has written extensively on one of its key concepts, “modelling”. According to him, people learn by imitating the behaviours they see around them, those social models they grow up or interact with.

Parenting Habits That Could Keep Children From Succeeding In Life

Raising children requires good parenting techniques as well as avoiding bad habits. A positive body image help children develop socially. Quality time with kids also helps them in school. But just as important are avoiding mistakes that can curtail a child’s social, physical, emotional and intellectual development

teaching right from wrong

Learning right from wrong

Children according to scientist study know right from wrong before they are two years old. Certainly by 5 and going to school they should know the basics of sharing, kindness, hitting, toilet etc.

Once your child starts school then the world begins to open up and your influence and control of what they see, hear and feel starts to disappears. Children are exposed to all sorts of messages, signals and influences. Parents need to be really on guard to watch for behaviour changes and address any unsociable situations arising.

Lessons learned before 5 set the standard for all the teen and adolescence years.

We talk here about the social environment but what about nurture. Well children who come from parents who were hot headed explosive characters are likely to have more difficulty dealing with right and wrong. Sadly, those parents also tend to dish out learning with a more aggressive and explosive way losing their tempers faster. It is important to remember the child is an offspring of its parents and the combined nature and character does play out in the child.

Psychology Today have an article on how children learn right from wrong.

 

children testing boundaries

Testing the boundaries

Children are also testing boundaries of behaviour and what they can and cannot get away with. Knowing not only where the boundaries are but what are the consequences for breaching boundaries.

This is one of the trickiest areas for parents because all parents manage boundaries differently based upon their own beliefs, personalities and characters. Some parents let their kids get away with blue murder as the saying goes whilst other run their house with a rod of iron. Well both are extremes and both are as bad as each other.

Parents are trainers, leaders, managers. Its their job to bring up a rounded child. Knowing what is acceptable and not should not be negotiable its about principle and morals.

How many parents call/shout to their children 5 times to get out of bed and get ready. The first shout is usually come on lovey get up its 7am. Second, is John/jane you’re going to be late come on get up. The Third is a slightly raised and come on get out of bed you need to have some cereal before school. Fourth time is JOHN/JANE get out of bed NOW you are going to make me late. And the fifth is I WON’T TELL YOU AGAIN, IF I HAVE TO COME UP THERE, I WILL KILL YOU. NOW GET UP.

So, where is the line? Well, the extreme woke parent would go upstairs and help them get up and dress them, slightly embarrassing if they are 15 and the military parent would go up after the 2 time and drown them in water. Who is right and wrong? Well, both, because its about teaching the child what good behaviour looks like and the potential rewards for good behaviour and the reverse of course.

freedom of choice pregnant

The balance between freedom of choice and discipline

When children are young, many modern parents seem to forego discipline, treating each child as a mini adult and allowing them to make their own decisions on everything. No consideration is given to the mental maturity of that child and whether they have the cerebral capabilities to make the choice. There is merit in allowing children to make a choice or make decisions, but this should be gradual and when a child has the mental maturity to understand the consequences of their decision making. Most children when asked what you want for dinner would always ask for junk food.

Should we say no because we as a mature person know the effects this could have, or do we just say yes, avoiding a problem now but knowing we are creating an issue for them in later life which they will have to solve.

A recent survey showed that in the 1950s, 60s and 70s children would come home from school and ask their mum what’s for dinner, and most mums would tell them. In the late 1980s, 90s and 00s this all changed; children were asked what they wanted. The argument is – which is right?

Well, they can both be right as long as the adult oversees the choice, it’s balanced and doesn’t end up making a rod for the parents back by cooking 3 separate meals every meal time. For example choice could be given to a child on specific days, it’s free choice and the rest of the time it’s set menus. An article from SmartParentAdvice shows how to discipline a child.

Believe it or not some parents even offer the choice of personal washing as a choice rather than discipline. According to parents.com children over 8 should be washing each day. In this graph from the atlantic.com less than 60% of UK adults shower once a day.

is your child gifted

Is your child gifted?

What to look for if your child is a budding Chopin, Brunel, Curie or Williams.

I should add this is not about identifying another Einstein its about identifying your child’s strengths weaknesses and traits; Are they going to be artistic, physical, mental skills. Observing the things that come really naturally to them and things they find hard to do and then spending time developing those skills or helping them to work on the weaker areas.

Click on the picture to see a video on how to identify your child’s differences and characteristics

Parents and grandparents should look for the signs of budding talents or issues. This could be from DNA from past descendants or parents – either way it can be positive and / or negative. It does not have to be obvious, like a child’s ability to play the piano at 4, it could be something as simple as their learning style. Some kids have low spans of attention and are more sociable at school and can get distracted, which means parents need to support their child to keep up with those boring times tables. Whereas some children will happily sit and play with Lego for hours making things. Traits and tendencies and styles will develop as the child grows and it’s important to nurture or counter nurture these to make sure your child grows well rounded.

You often see parents forcing their children to play sports because the parents love sport. Kids who are average at a sport are often pushed by their parents who want them to fulfil the parent’s ambition not their own. Parents will often push children into doing things because other children to it, or other parents talk about their children’s activities or talents and it turns into a competitive situation. Remember what we said about a job that you love is not like working at all. The same applies to children, if they are talented at something foster that talent but don’t force them.

early years emotional intelligence

Emotional Intelligence

Many parents and children don’t understand emotional intelligence. Many parents never pay attention to when to change their language, tone and approach. As children grow what you often see is they behave like a child, and then one day you can hold what seems to be a adult conversation which lasts 5 minutes. This surprises the adult who then assumes that as that was grown up they can start treating them as older, when in actual fact it was a snap shot of maturity. Within the same day the child with whom you just had the adult conversation does something below their age level and the parent says ‘grow up’. Children have periods when they concentrate and the subject matter is clear, and they can hold quite adult thoughts, but that is not an indication it will last.

Twitter is a great place to see emotional intelligence with people often reacting to comments in a childish way. People feel hurt by others comments and feel compelled to reply with often an aggressive put down and personal attack. Our parents and grandparents would say to us as children; sticks and stones may break my bones but calling names won’t hurt you. It seems today that calling names is now the same as sticks and stones, and people use words such as ‘outraged’ or ‘angry’ and demand apologies for perceived slights or insults.

FirstCry Parenting gives 15 signs of an intelligent baby.

kids at school

Is your child the youngest or oldest in the class?

What to do to compensate

Often parents never think much about this but it can have a big impact on a child’s development and happiness at school. Typically, a child starts school in September of a year at 5 but the child may have been born late and could be nearer 6. Likewise, children could be just 5. So, there could be a nearly a year’s difference between the two. The school will try their best to teach middle ground but this equally could fail to meet the needs of either child. As parents you need to ask about the learning age and what the average of the class is. Discuss it with the teachers if you think your child is getting frustrated or disadvantaged.

kid wrapped in cotton wool

Wrapping your kids in cotton wool

Everyone is aware of the term wrapping someone in cotton wool, well let’s say it’s a balance. As previously mentioned about the extreme parent behaviour - woke verses military this key point is the same. Parents have to decide and which side or middle road they wish to develop but both extremes have consequences. From a mental health perspective, the woke liberals in society are banning; conkers, hopscotch, hide and seek, contact sport such as rugby, whilst also attempting to eliminate name calling at school. Opinions are divided but outcome is not. There is clear evidence the child for example with ginger hair protected at school from being called carrot top will be in for a shock when they enter the workplace and they are called worse things extensively.

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"Leadership is about being an influencer, not about being the boss."
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Belinda Letchford
Australian author and speaker

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The New Dad’s Survival Guide:

By Rob Kemp & First-Time Parent By Lucy Atkins 2 Books Collection Set

As a health journalist and mother-of-three, Lucy Atkins is familiar with both the medical aspects of childbirth and baby development, and the reality of day-to-day life as an exhausted first-time mum or dad. In her feisty, humorous style, she begins with that first mind-blowing day and addresses the issues unique to the first-time parent who stares at their newborn and thinks “Where are the instructions?”


Go to Amazon

New baby The truth!:

Fun inclusive book for new parents

Having a baby is the most amazing thing but you can’t imagine the ups and downs until you’ve been there. This A-Z collection of highs and lows is beautifully illustrated with the most adorable, inclusive baby photographs. If this is your first time, consider it a guide for what to expect and reassurance that the roller coaster is normal. If you’ve been on this journey a while, I hope you’ll settle down, grab a cuppa and chuckle along with me as you remember your own experiences!


Go to Amazon

Teaching Kids Right From Wrong:

25 Important Lessons


Go to Amazon

The Gentle Discipline Book:

How to raise co-operative, polite and helpful children

In The Gentle Discipline Book, Sarah Ockwell-Smith debunks many commonly held beliefs about punishment and motivation, and provides an alternative approach that will empower you to discipline your child in an effective way and with respect.


Go to Amazon

A Parent’s Guide to Gifted Children

Raising a gifted child is both a joy and a challenge, yet parents of gifted children have few resources for reliable parenting information.


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The Collapse of Parenting:

How We Hurt Our Kids When We Treat Them Like Grown-Ups

Auhor Leonard Sax argues that rising levels of obesity, depression, and anxiety among young people can be traced to parents abdicating their authority


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Stuff you might want regarding early years

Now you’ve read about early years, you might want to make a bit of a statement.  Have a look at some stuff below we think has some humour value!  We may make pennies on commission, but that’s not the point really.  Click on the image to see more details.

One Fart Away From A Poo mug

Meet My Brother Tee Shirt

Ugly Children mug

The Customer is Not Always Right mug

WiFi Quote Funny mug

This is What an Awesome 8 Year Old Looks Like Tee Shirt

I'm Not Pregnant Just Really Fat Funny TeeShirt

Personalised Baby Toddler T Shirt

All areas of health are interlinked

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Find your initial focus

You might think that physical, financial and mental health are quite separate, and for some people they are. However, often a problem in one area has a knock-on effect on others. Losing your job can lead to anxiety and depression, which can turn you to drink and impact your health.

You might have a severe issue in one area but that can lead to problems in other areas, and the people treating you for the first problem won’t be equipped to deal with these linked issues.

For example, doctors and nurses can treat you for a physical problem but can’t advise you about your job or finances.  Nor for the anxiety that comes with it, apart from prescribing some drugs, which might or might not be the best solution.

We encourage you to take a holistic view – we look at all areas and offer support across the whole spectrum.

health areas interlinked

Even this view of health is simplistic, as you’ll discover later if you go down that route.  You might want to consider overall health, or wellness or wellbeing, which include additional types of health, such as occupational health (how you are in your job).   Then there’s happiness and quality of life – how do these fit?

If you’re interested in that, click the link here to see more information.

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The Collapse of Parenting:

How We Hurt Our Kids When We Treat Them Like Grown-Ups

Auhor Leonard Sax argues that rising levels of obesity, depression, and anxiety among young people can be traced to parents abdicating their authority


Go to Amazon

A Parent’s Guide to Gifted Children

Raising a gifted child is both a joy and a challenge, yet parents of gifted children have few resources for reliable parenting information.


Go to Amazon

The Gentle Discipline Book:

How to raise co-operative, polite and helpful children

In The Gentle Discipline Book, Sarah Ockwell-Smith debunks many commonly held beliefs about punishment and motivation, and provides an alternative approach that will empower you to discipline your child in an effective way and with respect.


Go to Amazon

Teaching Kids Right From Wrong:

25 Important Lessons


Go to Amazon

New baby The truth!:

Fun inclusive book for new parents

Having a baby is the most amazing thing but you can’t imagine the ups and downs until you’ve been there. This A-Z collection of highs and lows is beautifully illustrated with the most adorable, inclusive baby photographs. If this is your first time, consider it a guide for what to expect and reassurance that the roller coaster is normal. If you’ve been on this journey a while, I hope you’ll settle down, grab a cuppa and chuckle along with me as you remember your own experiences!


Go to Amazon

The New Dad’s Survival Guide:

By Rob Kemp & First-Time Parent By Lucy Atkins 2 Books Collection Set

As a health journalist and mother-of-three, Lucy Atkins is familiar with both the medical aspects of childbirth and baby development, and the reality of day-to-day life as an exhausted first-time mum or dad. In her feisty, humorous style, she begins with that first mind-blowing day and addresses the issues unique to the first-time parent who stares at their newborn and thinks “Where are the instructions?”


Go to Amazon

Health Areas in Domains

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Domains

We break down the overall concept of health or wellness into ‘bite-sized chunks’ that we can actually do something about.  The first level we call health domains. 

We like the Life of Wellness site and we have chosen the following domains.

1. Emotional Wellness: Awareness and acceptance of feelings
2. Spiritual Wellness: A search for meaning and purpose
3. Intellectual Wellness: Recognition of your creativity, knowledge and skills
4. Physical Wellness: Need for physical activity and balanced nutrition
5. Environmental Wellness: Positive awareness and impact on your environment
6. Financial Wellness: Debt reduction, cash flow balance or financial future planning
7. Occupational Wellness: Personal achievement and enrichment from your career
8. Social Wellness: Contribution to your community

Health Areas

Within each domain, we have included a number of health areas. These are specific issues that you can tackle.  Within each health area, e.g. Depression, we have built additional information and exercises which you can do to help in the area. You can create your own Action Plan to address this area, and see

Emotional: Anxiety, Compassion Fatigue, Depression, Gambling, Laughter, Narcissistic, Personality Disorder, Sleep, Stress

Environmental: Environmental Issues, Greenness

Financial: Debt, Family Finance, Financial Planning, Financial Wellness

Intellectual: IQ, Personality, Procrastination

Occupational: Jobs for Different Personality Types, Retirement Income, Work Life Balance

Physical: Alcohol, Disabilities, Dizziness, Drugs, Fitness, Food Preferences, General Health, Healthy Ageing, Illness, Nutrition, Sleep Apnea, Smoking

Social: Communication Skills, Communication Styles, Domestic Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Love Partnerships, Mental Abuse, Parenting Styles, Sexual Addiction

Spiritual: Are You Sensitive, Mystical Guidance, Spirituality

Each health area has supporting information and its own questionnaire.

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Understand Health

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Physical, financial and mental health

One definition of health is:

Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity. 

The NHS define health as: ‘We use a broad definition of health that encompasses both physical and mental health, as well as wellbeing. This means we are not only interested in whether or not people are ill or have a health condition, but also in how healthy and well they are.’

We believe we also have to consider financial health, as this can easily impact physical and mental health. Click the button to see an example of how these are connected.

 It gets more complicated…

What is Health? How about Wellness, Wellbeing or Happiness?

The Active Wellbeing Society (TAWS) define Health as a state of the overall mental and physical state of a person; the absence of disease. They define Wellbeing or wellness as a way of life that aims to enhance well-being and refers to a more holistic whole-of-life experience which also includes emotional and spiritual aspects of life.  We expand on this definition of health to include financial health and mental health, to make it synonymous with wellbeing or wellness.  

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Health domains

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We break down the overall concept of health or wellness into ‘bite-sized chunks’ that we can actually do something about.  The first level we call health domains.

We like the Life of Wellness site and we have chosen the following domains.

1. Emotional Wellness: Awareness and acceptance of feelings
2. Spiritual Wellness: A search for meaning and purpose
3. Intellectual Wellness: Recognition of your creativity, knowledge and skills
4. Physical Wellness: Need for physical activity and balanced nutrition
5. Environmental Wellness: Positive awareness and impact on your environment
6. Financial Wellness: Debt reduction, cash flow balance or financial future planning
7. Occupational Wellness: Personal achievement and enrichment from your career
8. Social Wellness: Contribution to your community

wellness wheel

Health Areas

Within each domain, we have included a number of health areas. These are specific issues that you can tackle.  Within each health area, e.g. Depression, once you have subscribed we have built additional information and exercises which you can do to help in the area.

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See which domains you should address

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Having established that we use 8 domains, you need to understand which you should concentrate on.

The 8 are:

  • Emotional
  • Environmental
  • Financial
  • Intellectual
  • Occupational
  • Physical
  • Social
  • Spiritual

 

You can take a questionnaire, which scores you in each domain.  You can decide which domains you are strong in, and which you need to improve.

Another analysis shows which domains you should look at, but also which domains you want to look at.

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Locus of Control

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  • We want to help people in all aspects of their health  – physical, financial and mental. We also provide detailed explanations of how overall health (or well-being) is measured.
  • We believe these things are often linked, so we try and address health holistically. We are building templates, questionnaires and exercises to help you identify what’s important to you.
  • We think people should try and take responsibility for  of their own health as much as they can.  See below for what that means.

People look at things differently.  Some people believe things happen to them, while others believe they can influence what happens to them. Technically this is called the ‘locus of control’.  People can have an Internal or external Locus of Control

So how do you see things?

Psychology Today have a 15 minute test which gives you a summary of your position you can buy the detailed results if you want to.

My Personality Test have a 10 minute test which gives you a summary.

People tend to take more responsibility (locus gets more internal) as they get older.  However, external isn’t always bad – for example if you are physically unable to do some things you can accept it and focus on the things you can do.  This American video explains the concept and gives examples of how this can affect relationships.

locus of control

Internal

  • More likely to take responsibility for actions
  • Tend to be less influenced by others

External

  • Blame outside forces for what happens
  • Don’t believe they can change their situation themselves

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Add your attitude to change - see how you view changes in your life

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Do you need to change?

No matter how healthy you are at the moment, the chances are that there are some areas you could improve. It may be that you have a real problem in one or more areas, and you would like to make some improvements.

At YouDrive we accept that there are many different degrees of ‘not wellness’ in a large number of different health areas, ranging from physical illness such as covid-19 through mental illness such as anxiety through to financial problems like debt.  We try and help where the problem ranges from ‘slight’ to quite bad’ – after this expert help and intervention may be needed.

However, especially in these times, we have to try and make these changes ourselves, possibly with some help from others, whether remotely or face to face.

The thing is, to make an improvement we have to change some things.

This involves changing our behaviour in some respects, and that’s not always easy.

Henry Ford, the creator of the assembly line, is quoted as saying “if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got”.  

henry ford

Another way of looking at this: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” – attributed to Albert Einstein.

Consequently we need to make some changes.  The problem is that we have already developed a lot of habits, some of which we need to break and replace by better ones.  Some of our bad habits have become entrenched, and the bad results they create in turn engender further bad habits to develop – in effect the bad habits can feed on themselves.

We need to understand how we can make changes and stick to them, and that’s what this part of your health profile is about.

It will involve some learning, through reading, some videos and some additional information and also seeing how you react to change currently.

It will also ask you to consider whether you feel you are in charge of your future, or whether you feel it’s all fate.

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Assess your overall health using a health questionnaire

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At YouDrive we try and help people improve their health. We use ‘health’ but we understand there are other terms such as wellbeing or even happiness that reflect how we are doing in our lives – if you’re interested in the different definitions and ideas see our page on the subject.

We want to help whether you have a particular problem – physical, financial or mental – or if you just want to improve some specific part of your life or just make some improvements overall.

You’d be surprised, but there has been a serious amount of scientific work done in this area over the last twenty years.

So first we allow you to assess your current health (or wellbeing, or happiness).  We do this by questionnaire.  Which one is determined by the type of person you are:

  1. You understand yourself well and want a quick overview of your health and wellness, and will drill down in any areas needing work
  2. You want to do a more detailed assessment and then focus on areas you’re already aware of
  3. You want to look at the whole situation in more detail across all the health domains.

By the way, we take your privacy seriously – we collect information that you choose to provide but we de-identify it as much as possible and will never share it with anyone without your explicit consent.

You can then drill down into some specific areas and there are more questionnaires to see your situation in these particular areas.  We provide you with specific information and refer you to other potential aspects of help. Our next step is to build a personalised action plan – for now we will make a suggestion for you to develop your own plan and then after a time you can see whether this has had a positive impact by retaking the test.

In future we will be engaging with medical and behavioural specialists to devise action plans for individual people with specific situations.

We have an overall questionnaire which you can complete which will assess your current state.

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Values, Attitudes and Beliefs

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We all have our beliefs, attitudes and values – these have developed throughout our life based on who we are and what we have done. Let’s look at what these are.

The University of Reading explain: “People’s values, beliefs and attitudes are formed and bonded over time through the influences of family, friends, society and life experiences. So, by the time you’re an adult, you can hold very definite views on just about everything with a sense of “no one is going to change my mind”.

The combination of your personal values, beliefs and attitudes are your moral principles that guide you in life and affect your behaviour. However, your views can wildly differ to others and in an institution such as a school, these beliefs may be counter to the values of the school, child development or indeed the law.” 

Let’s look more closely at the differences between beliefs, attitudes and values.

Beliefs

These come from real experiences – we think our beliefs are based on reality, but in fact our beliefs colour our experiences; also, an original experience e.g. when we were a child is not the same as what’s happening now. Beliefs can be moral, religious or cultural and reflect who we are. They can be rational (‘it gets colder in winter’) or irrational (‘I am never going to make something of myself’).

Attitudes

This is an immediate belief or disposition about something specific. It is a recurring group of beliefs and behaviours aimed at specific groups, people, ideas or objects. They will normally be positive or negative and we will always behave that way to the target group. Examples of attitudes include confidence (I can or can’t do something), grateful (I an entitled to / grateful for XXX) and cheerful (I am generally happy / miserable).

Values

These are things (principles or qualities) that we hold in high regard or consider to be worthwhile or right / wrong. They are formed by a belief related to the worth of something – an idea or behaviour. Some values are common (e.g. family comes first, the value of friendship) or cultural (which the whole community have – see video at Study.com here)

The theory

Links to Wikipedia

Expectancy Value Theory suggests you balance your beliefs about something with the value you attach to it. The Theory of Reasoned Action suggests that beliefs and evaluation about behavioural outcomes determine attitudes, and intentions lead directly to behaviour.

Beliefs

Expressions of confidence – can change over time

Attitudes

Learned predispositions to something – are subject to change

Values

Ideals that guide our behaviour – Generally long lasting and often need life changing experience to change

Iceberg demonstrating implicit and explicit bias – from Owlcation

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A Butterfly Life: 4 Keys to More Happiness, Better Health and Letting Your True Self Shine

Times of change can be a challenge, no doubt! Whether it’s a relationship breakup, job loss, or being diagnosed with a serious health issue. Or you may WANT things to be different, but it feels a little scary or overwhelming. The butterfly reminds us change can be beautiful, even necessary, in order to realize our full potential and live our best life.